Message from Miami

Message from Miami

20^th June 2011

Yesterday was a bit of a blur really. The only thing that I remember is the meeting we had, lasting a good couple of hours and finishing after 01.00. Mike, from Image, was talking about how our ship was doing, our performance statistics, how we can improve etc. 

While working in the gallery he was pointing out photos telling me what we should and shouldn’t be shooting. For example, at the Acropolis (Athens) there’s a certain area where we should stay and just get the same shot. “It has to be a consistent shot” he informed us. If we didn’t get the same consistent shot we wouldn’t sell anything. Rather than people looking for something unique they are looking for the same shot as everyone else? To me it didn’t ring true, but he's the one with the experience and knowledge under his belt.

During the meeting Mike said while we are dressed in costumes on gangway we have to act like the character we are portraying. If you’re a dolphin, we cannot speak to guests. One guy from another ship used to dress up as a bear and walk around talking to guests telling kids he was a talking bear etc. That’s no longer allowed as it’s unrealistic as bears can’t speak… well I never! We also have to exclude any modern poses if we are ancient characters, such as a Greek God giving the thumbs up! Some sounded a bit over the top but, oh well, rules are rules.

Now we are to have a Gallery Host who is there to welcome people to the gallery and help them find their prints etc. On some ships they are even dressed up in a costume. Mike is going to try and get us dressed up in the gallery depending on the event. So during 70’s night, the Gallery Host, should be dressed up in the relevant costume/clothing. Sounds like a good laugh! I’m up for that one!!

In short, the message from Miami was “do better”.

Enough is Enough

Enough is Enough

14^th June 2011

Waking up this morning I checked to see what the time was. 10.15. I thought something wasn’t right. Jumping out of bed, I check the time on the cabin’s phone. 10.15. Shit! My alarm hadn’t gone off. Checking the alarm on my phone, I hadn’t gone back to sleep. It simply hadn’t gone off at 9! I was 45 minutes late for work! Grabbing the phone I rang Luci in the gallery to apologise and let her know I’d be up as quickly as possible. I asked why she hadn’t called and very nearly got my head bitten off “because I am too busy and have a lot of things to do”. She told me to speak to Reuben and do an extra hour elsewhere. 

Chucking my hair up and throwing on my uniform I ran up to the gallery and went looking for Reuben. He wasn’t about. If he was, I’d have been given a warning without a doubt. To be fair, I’d have quite happily taken the written warning as I’d cocked up famously. 

Getting behind desk to work, Luci called me to one side and told me not to tell Reuben or anyone else and to make the hour up somewhere else. No problem. Taking out the schedule she asked where I’d like the make up for the hour. I was fine with staying on an hour during the shift I was doing. Why should I choose where I make the hour up when I was the one that was late? Once that was settled I carried on working and trying to wake up. I couldn’t believe I’d woken up for work late and that my alarm hadn’t gone off. In a way I was also aggravated that no one else in the gallery had called the cabin, especially as I’m the one calling them if they are late or making sure they are awake on time.

Overall I’ve been feeling pretty down lately and I can’t manage to pick myself up. I’m not sure why I’ve been feeling this way but I’ve quite literally had enough of everything. Half an hour before we were due to close the gallery Ritesh came up from the lab to tell us we had studio portrait training. I’m one of the few who have New Hire Training books so I was sent to find mine. 

Going to the studio on Deck 3 Ritesh gave one of us the camera and told us to choose a couple. Me and Jeni went first and were joking around a bit. One of the poses is for the lady to put her hand on the guys chest. I was mucking around putting my hand an inch away from her chest. Ritesh moaned “the more you want to mess around, the longer it’s gonna take. I don’t care man. You waste your own time”. During the entire training he repeated the same thing like a broken record. 

Up next, I chose two Spanish speakers and did my posing in Spanish. Looking at the photos afterwards Ritesh did nothing but make critical comments. The hands were too high. Her fingers aren’t closed. “Come on these are the basics, man” he complained. One of my photos had too much head space and because of that I had to reshoot at the end. Reshooting, I got my poses right but now the head space was too tight. With Ritesh, you can't win, especially as if he takes a dislike to you.

Hernan trying to have a laugh got a handful of sterilising gel and first covered my hand in it. Then he shoved a load in my face. Some slapped me in the eye. Sterilising gel in your eye stings like a bitch! With a stinging, red and puffy eye, guess who Ritesh volunteered to pose for the next set of photos? Posing with David, Ritesh had to take the piss, laughing "oh shit man, she smiled. She looks better when she's pissed off and crying!" Fuck you, Ritesh!

Reuben called me into the office to speak to me. He’s told me I need to get new white shirts for my evening uniform. When I asked what was the matter with the ones I had, he told me that they were too short and couldn’t be tucked into my trousers. Apart from that, there’s nothing wrong with them. I can’t believe how picky Image/Royal Caribbean are being. You can’t see the bottom of my shirt with my jacket on. Reuben told me that Gordon (Marketing and Revenue Manager) is on the lookout and if I get caught I’ll get banana (ship talk for getting fooked). To me, it’s just petty. I look as smart as you possibly can, like everyone else, in the uniform but my shirt doesn’t tuck into my pants so it doesn’t meet Royal Caribbean’s uniform regulations.

At the moment I can honestly say I’ve had enough. I don’t want to be here anymore. Everything is getting to me. Someone is always on your case about something no matter how small or how hard you try. We are working our arses off and getting very little (financially) in return. I know I’m not here to purely have a good time but hell, at the moment this seems more like a jail sentence. If I had a home to go to, I’d go. Simple as.

Training & Gallery

Training and Gallery

3^rd June 2011

Dragging myself out of bed this morning was terrible. I woke up with the giggles – the complete opposite to yesterday and any little thing was making me roll up laughing! It was absurd! 

Heading to the gallery Paco gave us a complicated demonstration of what we need to go to get a digital copy of the final edit of the Cruise DVD. While it was converting we all headed up to the Staff Mess for breakfast. Popping into SOB I caught a glimpse of the news: a hospital in Nigeria had been holding 32 pregnant women hostage to sell their babies as soon as they were born. US is having the worst hurricane season in 60 years. It seemed like a different world.

Returning back to the gallery Jeni had arrived for work looking like she’d not slept for a week. She was down for some reason but didn’t really want to talk to anyone at that time. Later on she came over to be and gave me a brief idea as to what was up with her. Ading that she’d come and talk to me later.

Four hours later I was done working in the gallery. Paco said he’d do some of my check list now that the gallery had quieten down a bit. We completed the gallery section and he signed on the dotted line. The remaining page was for Ritesh to finish so I’m going to try and catch him later on.

Now I’m sitting on my bunk, trying my hardest not to fall asleep as I have another 4 hour stint in the gallery in 15 minutes. After lunch I just wasn’t tired, now I need to work, all I want to do is close my eyes and sleep. Sod’s law!

Last night I managed to sell an IOCD. Today I sold a couple of folio’s, one DVD and endless amounts of photos.

It’s unlikely but hopefully for I’ll be a Photog 2 by next cruise which starts tomorrow. Maybe halfway through the cruise? I’ve asked Reuben to send all my wages into my account to pay off the $500 security deposit.  $250 is already paid off. Next stop will be paying off the uniform and then camera. No doubt I’ll get it paid off quickly.

Lazy Turkeys

Lazy Turkeys

19^th May 2011

So much for getting up at 10… I ended up getting up at 12.30 before waking Stu. Lazy isn’t even the word but then again we only had 7 hours sleep. Quickly showering, Stu met me at my cabin. Along with David, Ritesh, Fede and Hernan we headed up to the Staff Mess for something to eat. 

David was on the hunt for trainers for the gym… I swear it’s an excuse not to go to the gym! Hernan and Fede were off for a wander before Fede had to go into the lab and start printing. Ritesh needed to pop to Western Union to send money home to India. We were pretty sure there was a Western Union of the way to the Turkish bar/café we use so Ritesh came with Stu and me.

Once again I spoke to the parents before they headed out. I’m starting to make a habit of getting my Mom out of bed. There’s a 7 hour time difference between us so it’s always early whenever I call. Having said that, I’m such a Goddess that my Mom is obliged to drag herself out of bed to speak to me. 

Becks sent me an essay of an email. She’s all good except for the odd bits and pieces here and there. I understand where she’s coming from. It’s a shame she’s not on the same ship as me. I miss talking to her. When things get you down, it’s good to have someone you know and trust to talk to. Even though we haven’t known each other for a long period of time, we are both on the same wave length and similar in many ways so get on really well. I’ve told her next time she’s got a problem or needs someone to talk to, to just email me and I’ll get back to her as soon as I get online. I’m really looking forward to meeting up with her in England. It’s going to be such a laugh!!

I was determined to finish my competencies and Reuben wanted them done by the end of Istanbul. I was on a failing mission. Time was running out. Stu was helping me as much as he could but there were three sections that I kept failing. With the clock ticking I was getting more and more frustrated. I needed to read through the entire "lesson" again before doing the exam but there simply wasn’t time so it’d have to wait until Naples. Rapidly packing up we headed towards the ship. The queue wasn’t anywhere near as long as we’d anticipated.

Again Stu and I ran to our cabins to shower and change into our uniform. We were meeting in the lab in 20 minutes to collect the prints for the gallery. Three bags full of prints and we were on our way to the gallery to meet the others. In two groups we took it in turns for lunch. One group went first while the other started to display and then vice versa.

We had a meeting with Reuben who asked how much we’d sold. When it comes down to selling the Get The Picture (GTP) Fabio is in first place with 4. I’m in second place with 2. Stu has started to catch me up and I’m desperate to go head-to-head with Fabio. If we sell more than 5 we get dinner for free in the guest’s dining room. Very posh! 

Reuben’s told us to push the engraved photo frames priced at $32. He gave us a rough idea on the speech. We are having a bit of a competition to see who sold the most within the night. We aren’t competitive are we!? At the end of the night, only three were sold. Rueben, Stu and I each sold one. As our prize Stu and I were given "reward cards" to take down to the Crew Office. There, we'd pick up our prize which could be anything from a $10 voucher for the internet to 10% off Johnny Rockets. 

It was all good fun, once I’m given a rough idea how to pitch. I’ll pitch and push as far as I can go… sometimes the guests put their hand in their pocket sometimes they don’t. It all goes hand in hand. You win some, you lose some.

Some people enjoy sitting around all day behind an office desk which is okay, I’ve done it before. I love the running around part of the job. The running around, competitions, incentives and selling! It’s hectic and you're running around like a headless chicken on a mission but it’s a huge part of the fun.

Sleep Deprived

Not much has happened since my last update. Today Hernan and I had 3 lots of training. Once again I fell asleep in training, I’m beginning to make a habit of this. Last night I only had 3 hours sleep and an hour’s kip today.

Lack of sleep is really starting to take its toll. It’s not too bad as today was a sea day and we have another tomorrow. My timetable for tomorrow is pretty decent, more training and then work during the evening. Hopefully I’ll be able to take a siesta at some point. The clocks go back an hour today (we are heading to Naples, Italy) so that’s a bonus.

Luckily enough I don’t start work until 17.30h on 28^th April when we arrive in Naples. Photos, cheese, pizza and internet spring to mind!

Tonight was formal night, the third of this cruise. I wasn’t too impressed with my Ressi images. Having said that, when I took my equipment down to the lab I saw some of the images being printed out and they didn’t look too bad. My cropping still needs to be a little tighter but as Stuart said, it’s better if the crop is too loose rather than too tight. Loose crops can be fixed.

Everyone is shattered today and formal night is always a busy night. We were on our feet shooting portraits to dining room from 17.30 to 01.00h. There’s no wind down drink at S.O.B – our corridor is silent. No doubt things will change in Naples as it’ll be Rich’s and Lee’s last night.

Jomar, my BM (Business Manager), is going to give me my Image ID so I can start ImageU. However he said he wanted me to start ImageU once I’d finished my training. If I can, I’ll do them both at the same time. A couple of the other photographers have said they’ll give me a hand with ImageU if I need one.

Anyway, I’m rambling and my brain is slowing shutting down. Night night everyone!

Chillaxing in Istanbul

Chillaxing in Istanbul

25^th April 2011

Day 2 in Istanbul. 

Hernan and I have finally finished our training. We now have our certificates in basic first aid, safety and fire fighting and crowd management. All we have to do now is a test which we’ll do in Naples, I think. The certificate for crowd management lasts 5 years while the basic first aid, safety and fire fighting lasts a life time!

We’ll be at sea for two days before reaching Naples. Only 3 more days until Rich and Lee sign off… not looking forward to it. We’ve got a good little group.

After training Luci, Stu, David and I headed into Istanbul to a Turkish café to use the internet. We’ve been here for about 2 hours so far. This time the prices are rather cheap.

A Turkish man is just walking down the road with a massive, and I mean massive, tray loaded with rolls. Everywhere you look there are stands or people walking around selling corn on the cob, pretzel style bread and roast chestnuts. It’s a completely different lifestyle to what I’m used to. I still can’t get my head around eating cucumbers covered in salt!

I’ve spoken to the parents again, they are leaving for Uruguay tomorrow so getting in contact with them will be a lot easier once they are home. Dad told me off for swearing – I doubt I’ll ever be too old for a nagging. It was good to hear from them again.

Later on today or tonight after work I’m going to download some of Hernan’s images from the toga party and team lunch… I wish I’d taken my camera. Now I’m going to take my baby Canon 400D everywhere I go. 

Before dinner Fede got some smashing photos on his new toy: Canon 5D – the image quality is amazing. I want it! I want it! I want it! Hmm… I’d better get my arse in gear, earn some commission and save to get that camera. Apparently the best place to go for cameras is St. Maartins…  God knows when I’ll get there but at least I’ll have plenty of time to save up!

Right I’d better get back to the ship and get ready for work. I might try and squeeze in another nap. Taking naps is a big thing in ship life. You don’t get a lot of sleep so you take naps here and there to catch up. Since I’ve been working on the Mariner of the Seas the longest I've slept is probably about 5 hours. The shortest… 2 and a half hours! Pro Plus is seriously needed! The motto in our department: Work Hard, Play Hard!

Take care and I’ll update as soon as possible although it might be when we reach Naples.

Adios Miami!!

Adios Miami!!

11th April 2011

This will probably be my last blog in Miami. Hernan and I are getting the shuttle bus to the airport at midday. Our first leg of the journey is an overnight flight to Munich which will take about 9 hours and 30 minutes. 

The second flight is 2 hours and 15 minutes to Athens.  Finally we’ll be flying to Rhodes airport which will only take an hour. From there we’ll be in a hotel for the night and joining ship tomorrow morning. 

Fingers crossed all goes to plan and we don’t have any delays. The time slots between the flights are only small, for instance we have 1 hour and 30 minutes to get from our Miami to Munich flight to the plan going from Munich to Athens. For the last flight I think we’ll have to collect our suitcases and check in again as we’ll be flying with another airliner. The gap is only 3 hours. I’m so nervous as I don’t know what to expect! I hope I’m sitting with Hernan on the plane too. He’s great company and will be used as a pillow too haha!

Chet left this morning at silly o’clock. Chet, if you are reading, let us know when you get to your ship and have a safe journey!! 

Pavlo 2.0, Maksim and Gaz have left too. They’ve taken the shuttle down to the port – no flying for them the lucky sods! 

Becks (yes, you get another mention haha) has gone to the Image Group office to find out which ship she’ll be working on. Originally I thought saying bye to everyone was getting easier, well, they do say practise makes perfect! Saying bye to Becks was really hard, not long after I had to say bye to the other three. The tears were threatening to spring again! In a strange way it makes you want to stay away from people and keep a guard up. It’s part of the "cruise ship photographer job" so it’s something my overly emotional self will have to get used to… sooner rather than later!

My suitcase is packed – finally! I’ve just got to put my laptop cables in and lock up. 1hour and 45 minutes until the shuttle bus comes. Travelling to Miami my suitcase was 19.5 kilos. With all the uniform we’ve been given I’m sure it’s going to be overweight and I’ll have to pay a fee, or should I say "fine"? The first two flights allow 23 kilos plus hand luggage. Hopefully it’ll be okay. I know for sure that the suitcase will be too heavy for the final (domestic) flight.

At the moment I’m just sitting by the swimming pool with Chris and Anastasiia drinking Early Grey tea… God, I miss PG Tips already!!! I’m really going to miss my cups of English builder's tea! Right, I’d better upload this and put my laptop on charge. A full battery is needed for the plane - just in case. 

My nerves are really starting to kick in now!!! 

So, bye bye Miami… Hello Greece!!

Meet The Team

Just so you can all match the names to the faces, here's a group photo from our last day of training.

Back (left to right) - Agnesa (Russia), Laura (England), James (South Africa), Becks (England), Chris (England), Sarah (England), Federico "Fede" (Spain), Hernan (Argentina), Anastasiia (Ukraine), Pavlo "my husband/ Ukrainian Borat"(Ukraine), Anna (Ukraine), Lenuied "Lenny" (Belarus), Holly (Engalnd), Vova (Ukraine), Sasha (Slovinia), Maksim (Belarus), Mariia (Ukraine), Einstein (Ukraine), Margarita, Alexander (Ukraine), Alexander, Aliexander and Durell (Romania - Trainer)

Front (left to right) - Gareth (Austrailia), Me (England/Spain), David (England), Chet (England), Pavlo "2.0" (Ukraine), Viktor (Belarus), Dom (England), Aleh (Ukraine), Gudrun (Germany), Alan (South Africa - Trainer).

**UPDATE**

Sasha, Holly, Gudrun and Alexander left today to join their cruise ships. Chet, Gareth, Hernan and I leave tomorrow. Becks will find out which cruise ship she'll be joining tomorrow. Fingers crossed she gets a good one! For the guys who are leaving tomorrow; have a safe journey, take care of yourselves, have a great time and hopefully see you somewhere in 6 months or so!

None of us have heard from the others who have already left Miami to join ship. Pavlo, Laura, Sarah, James and Dom must have arrived at their ship already (especially the first three). Hopefully they've got to their destinations okay. If you're reading this, could you let one of us know (via Facebook or Skype) that you've arrived okay.

Lazy Day

Last night Becks and I simply chilled out and had an early night. We ordered a MASSIVE pizza and sat in my room watching Alice in Wonderland. After a day in the sun, Becks got a little burnt whereas I had legs like a lobster! We’ve been slapping after sun on ever since. The strange thing is we were putting SPF 50 and sitting mainly in the shade. Our pasty skin obviously can’t handle the Miami heat!

Today is my last day in Miami. The late nights have caught up with me so I’m having another lazy day. Becks and I sat in her bed for a while, watching Jackass 3 and eating the rest of last nights pizza. Talk about American XXL portions!

Now we are just sitting by the swimming pool (I’m wearing jeans and a hoodie to keep my skin covered haha). Gaz (Aus), Chris and Chet (UK) have finally woken up and telling us about some of their antics last night. They all headed to South Beach but didn’t get back until 6am this morning. Gaz was absolutely rat arsed by the sound of things! There was a bit of a drunken fight between two of them. I love the fact both of guys have just shook hands, laughed in disbelief at what they’d done and one got the beers in. 

Chet’s just let out a bomb shell… Gareth was dancing with a girl in a club last night. Someone, we don't know who, went over to inform our Aussie friend that, he was in fact, dancing with a guy in drag or a "he-she" as Chet put it! That's not something we're going to let Gaz forget any time soon. Priceless moment and I'm slightly miffed I missed it!

Chris got invited to a private party by a gay guy because he was "cute". All together now: AWWWW!

A few of us are worried about getting from the airport to the port. Some of us haven’t been given enough money for transport. Chris for example arrives at Heathrow at 3am and will have to get a cab to Southampton. The cab is going to be much more than what Image have gave him. He’ll have to settle the bill and get the money reimbursed.

Right, I’m going to have to get out of the sun. I’m dressed more for England than for Miami and it’s getting a little too hot for me. I’ll update a little later and I’ll include the group photo we took on our last day of training. At least then you can put a name to a face. 

Pasty White Ladies at the Pool

Last Night's Obese Pizza and Dough Balls

We Are Off!!

Last night was the last night for some people. Laura, Pavlo and Sarah were leaving at 5am. James and Dom were leaving a little on in the day. The first three are on different cruise liners while the last two are on the same.  Four people were flown home today. So last night we had to celebrate and give the people leaving a sending off! About 15 of us headed out for dinner at the local Cuban restaurant then it was back to the pool with beers, rum, whiskey and God knows what else!! The cameras were out, people were getting chucked into the pool fully clothed and the drinks were flowing.

I got up at 4.30am to say bye to Laura, Sarah and Pavlo. It’s quite strange not having them around. It’s also incredibly quite around here without Pavlo messing around, cracking jokes and making us all laugh. Slowly but surely the group is getting smaller and smaller. 10 have already been dispatched and there are 11 left. I’m not 100% sure but I think a couple more will  be leaving later on this afternoon. 

This week has been like a group holiday. Last night it just started to dawn on me that we were all splitting up and going to work on cruise ships. This morning, saying bye to Pavlo, Sarah and Laura, was when it finally hit me. If I’m honest, it hit me like a ton of bricks and there was a tear or two. Even though it’s been a week, we’ve all become really close, a little team. So seeing them go, it’s a little sad, but more than anything we’re more excited for each other. Say bye to Becks on Monday will be hard. She reckons she’s going to blubber like a baby! No doubt I will too!

Most of the remaining group have headed to South Beach. As Becks and I are completely shattered and just want to relax, we’ve stayed behind to sit by the swimming pool. It’s a good job we didn’t go either. Our roommates have been dispatched so we’ve had to move rooms yet again! It’s the 3^rd room we’ve moved too. It’s a bit of a piss take having to keep moving. As I’m the only girl leaving on Monday I have a room to myself. I think Becks is going to share a room with me until I go. Anna, a girl Beck’s has been sharing with, hasn’t been back to the hotel in 24 hours and her stuff is still in the room. Hotel staff aren't exactly pleased with us as they want to get into the room and clean for the next person, but what can we do? We have no idea where she is. Well, we have an inkling, let's put it that way.

Tonight, we’re simply going to get a pizza and carry on chilling by the pool. No doubt they’ll be few drinks to send off some of the others who’ll be leaving tomorrow.

The one thing we are all going to miss are the planes flying over the hotel. The hotel is situated near the run way so we have the planes flying really low over the hotel swimming pool. It’s absolutely brilliant! It’s something we’ll never get tired of, especially when it’s a large jumbo jet flying over! I’ve got a video so I’ll try and upload it. 

Chilling by the Pool - Me, Sarah & Pavlo 2.0 (Beck's Photo)

Pavlo 2.0

Typical Dom! Beer o'clock

Hernan, Holly & Dom

Gaz & David

Gudrun

Chetan

Dom has many weird talents!

Pavlo 2.0

Pool Time :-)

Becks

Back To Europe!

Friday 8^th April 2011

Today we all did our final test. If we failed it was a “chicken or beef?” situation. If we passed
we’d be off to join a cruise liner somewhere in the world.

Out of the group 5 people didn’t pass and are going home tomorrow! The rest of us…. WE PASSED!!!! Now it was just a case of seeing where in the world we’d be going to join ship and if we were going with anyone from the group.

So, instead of going to the Caribbean like it said on my original letter of employment (which is basically just to get you into America for training) I’m heading back to Europe. On Monday I’ll be flying with Hernan from Argentina to Rhodes, Greece!!

The cruise liner we’ll be joining is the Mariner of the Seas (Royal Caribbean). Here’s a little bit of history:

Mariner of the Seas made her maiden voyage on 16^th November 2003 and has a maximum passenger capacity of 3,807. The ship’s length is 1020 feet weighing in at 138,279 tonnes. Finally she has a cruising speed of 27 knots.

Some of the features the cruise liner has are absolutely amazing! Rather than listing them all, here are some of the best ones:

Ice skating rink

Rock climbing wall

In-line skating

Themed bars and lounges

Casino Royale

Golf Simulators

9 hole mini golf

Full size basketball court

Day spa and fitness centre

Herne and I  will be joining ship on 13^th April in Rhodes (Greece). The Mariner of the Seas will be nearing the end of its cruise but while we are on board we’ll be travelling to:

13^th April: Rhodes, Greece

14^th April: Kusadasi (Ephesus), Turkey

15^th April: Chania, Crete, Greece

17^th April: Naples, Italy

18^th April: Civitavecchia (Rome), Italy

Next cruise is 11 nights and we’ll be heading on another, but similar route:

18^th April: Civitavecchia (Rome), Italy
20^th April: Athens (Piraeus), Greece

24^th April:  Istanbul, Turkey

28^th April: Naples, Italy

29^th April: Civitavecchia (Rome), Italy 

Next is a 12 night Mediterranean Holy Land cruise:

29^th April: Civitavecchia (Rome), Italy

30^th April: Naples, Italy

2^nd May: Athens (Piraeus), Greece

4^th May: Hafia, Israel

5^th May: Ashdod, Israel

7^th May: Rhodes, Greece

8^th May: Kusadasi (Ephesus), Turkey

9^th May: Chania, Crete, Greece

11^th May: Naples, Italy

Originally we were supposed to be going to Alexandra, Egypt but with the way things are going there the cruise liner has been diverted to where there is more money to be earned! Shame, I’d love to have seen Egypt but maybe another time!

On a few occasions we will be docking in the same ports as other Image photographers working on other cruise ships. I’m not 100% sure where everyone is going but hopefully I’ll get to see some of the people from training, even if it’s just for 5 minutes! It’d be great to see them again!!

Unfortunately Becks won’t be on the same cruise ship as me, which was inevitable. She’s not 100% sure where she is going yet, she has to wait until Monday to find out. We think rather than the Disney Cruises (like we originally thought) she’ll be heading to the Caribbean. If I don’t get to see her, which I probably won’t, we’ll have to meet up while we’re back in England. I’m really going to miss her, we were the dog’s wotsits at smudging together on gangway!

When we finally got back to the hotel I tried on my uniform… it makes Asda’s look snazzy! Ok, that might be a slight exaggeration but, honestly, the uniforms might look good in theory but in reality they are absolutely awful! Some of my clothes are too big even though I sent my measurements to Image a few days before leaving England. For some reason, I have two men’s “Large” polo shirts and they look like nighties on me! They nearly reach my knees and the short sleeves come passed my elbows! The best outfit is the tux!!! I look like a hard-core butch lesbian!! They jacket is a size too big and with me being so short, it makes me look fat and shorter. Lovely! The dickey-bow tie isn’t anything to scream about either haha. I ran around the other rooms telling people to try on their uniform as some of the sizes weren’t right on me. They have the same problem too! Becks has been given a size 16 dinner jacket (I got a 6). She tried mine on and all she needed was one size bigger. Pavlo tried on his tuxedo jacket and it’d be a better fit on Pavarotti!!! We spoke to one of our training mangers at dinner and he said there was definitely nothing he could do about the uniforms, especially if people are leaving tomorrow. As Herne, Becks and I are leaving Monday afternoon there’s no chance of getting any changes to our uniform! Looks like I’m going to be wearing a polo shirt that’ll no doubt be sticking out the legs of my shorts!! I’m really not looking forward to wearing the uniform, especially as it’s so uncomfortable. Wearing it in the summer heat is going to be close to unbearable! In the words of Andy, one of the guys from Image who trained us: Ship Happens!!

Chicken or Beef?

There’s not much to say about today, it’s pretty much same shit, different day. One thing that’s really starting to get on my nerves is the chicken and beef question/gag. There are only two meal options on the plane, chicken or beef. So if we fail the exam or do something against the rules while on ship we’ll be getting asked if we want chicken or beef. In short: you’re fired!

We were taking turns in working on gangway, ressi (dining room) and studio. I didn’t get my ressi photos checked out but my composition and more importantly cropping area (all images are cropped so we have to allow for that) and the feedback I got was “perfect”.

The exam is tomorrow morning and we’ll all be leaving Saturday morning to whichever cruise ship we're being dispatched to. None of us know where we are going yet, or even if we are going. Most of us will be split up, which was inevitable but it’s a shame. There are some great people here and it’s been a real laugh with them. I hope me and Becks are on the same ship but we have a feeling she’s going to Disney as they keep asking if she likes children etc. I have a feeling I’ll be going to the Caribbean or South America because I can speak both English and Spanish fluently and a little Brazilian Portuguese.

It was great hearing from Peasant Pudding again haha! To be fair I’m surprised about some people. I remember someone saying “you’ll find out who your friends are” and she was right. Since I’ve been away I’ve heard from a couple of people. A one liner from Adam and Anna has come as a bit of a shock. I don’t know whether or not to say “out of sight, out of mind”. Feels a bit like that though. In a way, I knew it’d happen but didn’t think it’d be so sudden.

Anyway, I’d better get an hour of studying done. Studying by the pool drinking beer... I can’t imagine many people doing that in Swanley!!

Fingers crossed we all pass the exam tomorrow! Good luck everyone!! xx

Ukrainian Borat!!

Ukrainian Borat!!

Another day of training and the final exam is getting nearer. We were all starting to get nervous but have just found out it’s multiple choice. Now we are relaxing a little! Multiple choice will make things much easier. Today we had a few test questions, practising the 10 main poses and timing ourselves. We have to do three poses in 60 seconds or less. My best time was 55 seconds. I’m impressed but there’s still plenty of room for improvement. I want to get down to 45 and then 30 seconds.

I got a text message from Charlie Charliiiieee and Peasant Pudding Andy. It really made me miss home and put a bit of a downer on things. To be fair, I tend to put England out of my mind because I know I'll miss everyone. The madness from tonight's events have cheered me up no end!!!!

At the moment we are all relaxing by the swimming pool, drinking beer and chatting. Tonight has been very different from the normal night around the pool. Pavlo, my Ukrainian “husband” decided to make another episode to his homemade movies (not that type of homemade movie). He came running down to the pool area dressed in what can only be described as a banana suit! It was a bright yellow track suit with a multi coloured patches sewn onto the shoulders and knees. Plus a pair of yellow tinted aviator sun glasses. Seeing him run around and acting the clown was side splitting for everyone.

A small group of us took part in his “Ukrainian Borat” antics. Gudrun (Germany), Laura (England) Dom (England) and I chased Pavlo down the road as if we were his beloved fans. Originally it was only me, Laura and Gudrun were supposed to run after him but Dom came out of the hotel reception and just started sprinting after us all. He even out run a passing car! Watching the clip back was hilarious!!!! It’s like a Ukrainian meets Ali G and Borat!! More clips were filmed around the pool such as Pavlo jumping over a fence and falling over and generally acting the prat! I’ll post the video link as soon as possible. The two Pavlos (the other Pavlo, Pavlo 2.0 did the filming) are editing the clips tonight and tomorrow. Hopefully by tomorrow the video will be posted on Youtube. Sasha has documented everything so if I can, I’ll post some of her images as soon as possible. Unfortunately I left my camera upstairs and opted to bring down my laptop.

After filming Pavlo went on a shooting spree, photographing pretty much everyone!! He’s fallen in love with Sashas lens haha. I had the camera shoved in my face, paparazzi style, while he took close up photos of my face!! He thinks he’s got some good close ups of my boat race… somehow I doubt it!

Beck’s and I have been teaching Pavlo how to speak cockney rhyming slang. The funniest bit is that it comes out with a Queen’s English accent. Listening to Pavlo say “Lemon Squeezer” or “Lemon Squeeza” with a posh accent has us in fits! Some of the words he knows so far are: Lemon Squeezer (Geezer), “Mince Pies” (Eyes), “Tommy Tank” (Wank), “Jimmy Riddle” (Piddle) and the latest edition, “Boat Race” (Face).

3rd Training Day and More Beer!!

Today was a much better day than yesterday. We learnt the 10 main ways of posing couples. The couples have to be greeted, posed and told where their photos will be displayed within 60 seconds or less. Quite difficult when you are used to booking the college studio for an hour and a half for one shoot!

The next couple of hours were about sexually harassment and they are pretty strict on it to say the least. Becks and I are going to have to develop new sense of humours, if not, we are buggered!

Straight after we were told about relationships on cruise ships. Under no circumstances can we have a relationship with a passenger. If we do, we get dropped off at the next port and we have to make our own way home. We our allowed to have relationships/date crew members but they’d prefer it if we kept it out of the photographer’s group as it could lead to problems. They did mention that we will all “find the love of our lives on each cruise ships”. Basically, Dr. Levy who did our medical was right. The cruise ships are knocking shops at sea. Slightly disconcerting! Oh, and we do have an endless supply of condoms. While covering this subject I was either giggling like a schoolgirl in sex-ed or completely agog!

Last night a couple of us who didn’t go to Hooters got talking to the security guards at the hotel, one is Cuban but they both speak Spanish. The shock they got when I started speaking in Spanish, they thought it was great! As we had a huge stash of beer they bought us a polystyrene box filled with ice to keep our beers cool. We were shown into the employee’s section and the location of the ice machine. We can help ourselves to ice to fill the mask shift fridge until we go. It’s starting to feel like a little community here. It’s a shame that we’ll all be separated at the end of the week.

Anyway, everything is going really well here. Each day I’m counting down the hours until we finish training so we can all hang out by the pool, having a laugh and chat and drinking endless amounts of beer. Even I’ve picked up my game on the drinking side of things haha! I love spending the evenings here with the majority of the group (minus 99% of the Eastern Europeans who completely ignore us). The end of the week might be a bit hard when we are split up but hopefully after 3 months some will move ships and a few of us will be clubbed together again. Going onto a different ship to Becks would be a real downer as we’ve got on like a house on fire since the hire session back in December.

The only downside of today is that I lost my Playboy belly button bar in the shower and I don’t have another to replace it. At the moment I have Beck’s lip stud in to keep the hole open and tomorrow we’re going to go on the search for a new belly button bar.

I’m still missing you guys from Swanley but October will soon come around… let’s hope you haven’t forgotten me by then haha! 

Parents, it’s a little hard to call with the time differences! The best time to call is around 7am which is 12 noon Spanish time. If I can finally remember I’ll try and bring my laptop down for breakfast tomorrow and call you on Skype. You’d better be online haha! If I don’t get through, keep reading on here but everything is fine. Speak to you all soon. Love you xx 

We have been told we look like Mormons! Wonder why?

Early Start

Chetan & Pavlo at Image Training

Me and My Ukranian Husband, Pavlo

2nd Training Day

Homewood Suite, Miami

Monday 4^th April 2011

19.45 (00.42 UK Time)

Today we finished practising photographing passengers and smudging on gangway. After we were told about shooting in Ressi (Dining Room/Restaurant). To be fair, it was pretty boring  and as it’s the third day of being in Miami, jet lagged has finally hit us. All of us were constantly nodding off. At one point, I dropped off to sleep. God knows how long I was asleep for!

The Image Group are somewhat over the top about being on time. We had a ten minute break which was due to end at 10.17. When we were all back in our seats, one of the managers said “Guys, punctuality is something we really need to work on. I said to be back here at 10.17 and it’s now 10.18. You are a minute late. This isn’t good”. At first we were all looking around completely bemused then the penny finally dropped and we realised he wasn’t joking! It’s a good job he wasn’t a manager at Asda homeshopping or else we would have been in serious trouble!

In the afternoon we all did our presentations to introduce another new hire. Normally, I don’t have a problem talking in public and can quite easily talk for Spain. Today, half way through my presentation my mind went blank and I froze. My chest went tight and I started sweating like a prostitute in church. Luckily, my mind soon snapped back to reality and I finished off what I’d started. Knowing that we don’t have the job until the end of the training week is now playing on my mind, especially after making a complete muck up of my presentation.

Again, it was back to practising shooting in the Ressi. We had to get into couples and/or families with children. For a while I was teamed up with Gareth (Austrailia) who was my ex husband from yesterday and Hernan (Argentina) my son! Later on I was reunited with my current Ukrainian husband, Pavlo.

Most of the people are real laugh, especially Becks (England), Pavlo (Ukraine), Gareth (Australia), James (South Africa), David (England), Chris (England) and Dom (England). We have a new member to the crew, Fede (Federico) from Granada, Spain. Unfortunately none of us, expect the English are allowed to speak their native language. We all have to speak English or else we’ll get a warning. Three warnings and we are out, going home. Seems rather strange that you can get warnings and sent home before you've even been given the job!

Most of the crew have headed off to Hooters, it’s a must when in Miami. At the moment I’m just sitting by the pool with David and Fede having a couple of beers as we are either severely jet-lagged or have splitting headaches. 

Tomorrow we are heading to South Beach which is another must do. Unfortunately, as we are training from 8am to 6pm we don’t actually have much chance to get out and about to see Miami. It’s a shame but I guess that’s the way on the cruise ships work. I just wish we were all here for a little longer.

The Image Group keep reminding us that we are the McDonald’s of photography! We don’t use our creativity or imagination. It’s standard portraits with standard and strict compositions. 

One person in particular isn’t having a good time and thinking of leaving. There’s something that I’m not too sure about but it’s something I can’t quite put my finger on. A gut feeling. Hopefully soon I’ll find out what it is. Either way, it’s best for me to do my first contract and get some experience under my belt, money in my wallet and see a few countries. The more, the better!

Having a Break (Hernan's Photo)

Becks & James During Couple Portrait Training (Becks' Photo)

Chris and his Belarussian "Wife" (Becks' Photo)

First Training Day

Sunday 3rd April 2011

Homewood Suites Hotel, Miami, Florida

21.30 (02.30 UK Time)

The first day of training was a pretty tough one. Mainly because we are all jet-lagged and The Image Group wanted to get the boring stuff out of the way. Neeedless to say, keeping our eyes open became the main goal!

First we covered what to do with chemical wastes, “Save our Seas” and “Respect Your Mother (Earth)”. "Respect your Mother" bought back a few memories of Swanley as we do the complete opposite! I had a bit of a tough time keeping a smile from sneaking across my face.

At about 2pm we practised shooting on the Gangway which is when the ship docks in a port and we photograph the passengers leaving the cruise ship. Someone will be dressed up in a costume such as a dolphin, sailor, pirate etc. For things like the "ring" or "rail" we practised smudging. A smudger is the person who ushers the passengers over to have their photograph taken.

Normally photog 1s tend to do the dressing up and smudging for the ring and rail, while the more experienced photographers take the photos. At the beginning practising gangway wasn’t so bad, we got to work on our tans and have a laugh!

We had to pair up with someone of the opposite gender and became couples. So, now the joke is that I have a Ukrainian husband as he’s stuck with me the longest. We’ll ignore the fact that I’ve been married four times and divorced 3 times within the space of three hours! I obviously move on quicker than Elizabeth Taylor!

We were told about the type of people we’d be photographing on the cruise ships: newlyweds, overly feds and nearly deads. Lovely! Approximately 80-95% of the passengers will be Americans. English people need to watch their sense of humours as the Americans don’t take kindly to sarcasm. That’s my sense of humour down the drain! Is there a local market or mall where I can purchase a new sense of humour?

…………………………………….

UPDATE

It’s now 23.50 (04.50 UK Time) and we’ve spent most of the evening sitting around the swimming pool, drinking beers and getting to know each other. To be fair, it’s not a bad crowd. The majority are English but there’s a large amount of people from Belarus. There are a couple of Ukrainians, one Argentinian, Spaniard (from Granada – small world), South African and Austrailian.

Earlier on I got told I had to move room as I was supposed to be sharing with someone and somewhere along the line I’d managed to get a room on my own. Not bad I thought. Wrong. I wasn’t too impressed as I’d unpacked most of my stuff so now I’m sharing with a rather wacky girl from Belarus whose name I cannot even pronounce let alone spell!

We have a presentation tomorrow where we have to introduce another member of the team. We have a list of approximately 10 bullet points we have to talk about. It all sounds very Asda. Anyway, the girl I’ve been teamed up with was supposed to meet me at 9pm and didn’t. I bumped into her on the way back to my hotel room and she’s asked if could meet her at 6am in the dining room so we can do some preparation notes. I’m not looking forward to getting up at 5am, I thought I was finished with all the ridiculously early starts the day I handed my notice in at Asda. I guess that’s just the way to cookie, unfortunately, crumbles.

Another shocker came today. The Image Group told us that we still didn’t have the job!! At the end of the training week we have to do an exam. If we failed, bye bye. If we pass and they think we aren't quite cut out for the job or “unsuitable” as they prefer to say, we’d also get sent home. Everyone has given up their jobs, some of us our tenancy and so on and travelled a minimum of 10 hours only to be told that we could still be sent home at the end of the week. 

Looking on the bright side, I’ve never been to America before so it’s an all paid for, all inclusive holiday. So far I think I did a good job today, especially smudging with Becks. We were the best in my opinion,  mainly because we were bouncing around, shouting our heads off, having a laugh and none of the managers had a bad word to say about our smudging skills.

Anway, I’d better get some beauty sleep, I’ve got bags under my eyes that could rival a 90 year olds!

Dad, I will try and call you on Skype tomorrow, if all fails, I’ll leave you a voicemail and try to find somewhere where calling cards are sold. Night night xxx

Hello Miami!!

Sunday 2^nd April 2011

22.20 (03.20 UK Time)

Homewood Hotel, Miami, Florida

Hello Miami!!! We arrived safe and sound although there were supposed to be four of us on our flight. We have no idea what’s happened to Gudrun. Maybe her flight from Germany to Heathrow was delayed?

The plane touched down at about 3.15 local time (-4 GMT). A shuttle bus picked us up and bought us to the hotel. This place makes Travelodge and Holiday Inn look more like Faulty Towers! There’s even a kitchen, dishwasher and “home shopping” service. Apparently I’m supposed to be sharing a room with 3 other girls but so far I’m on my own. I have no idea where they are going to sleep. I’ve claimed the double bed and selfishly not prepared to share it with anyone. I hope there has been some kind of a mistake and I get the room to myself. Yes, I’m that greedy!

Most of the other photographers from Image are here. Laura, Sasha and Becks, from my hire session in Shrewsbury, are here. The group from Manchester should be at the hotel soon. I feel sorry for them, it’s nearly 11pm, they’ve had to get three flights and tomorrow we have to be up at 7am, at the latest! Gaz, James and I were the luckiest ones; direct flight arriving at 3pm so we had plenty of time to look around and chill by the pool with a crate of beer.

Other than customs, Miami so far has been a real laugh. Let’s see what the rest of the week brings. Tomorrow is the first day of training so I’d better get off to bed and catch some zzzz’s. 

Hope everything at home is going well. Speak to you soon x

Come Fly With Me....

Saturday 2^nd April 2011

11.05 (UK Time)

Flying Over Ireland

This morning was a little manic. Getting lost last night and trying to check into the wrong Holiday Inn didn’t help much! Sleeping last night was almost impossible. My hotel is situated pretty much on the run way and hearing the planes taking off and landing was making me more and more anxious.

Up at 6am and for once I didn’t hit Snooze! Once checked out of the hotel there was a 30 minute wait for the bus to Heathrow airport. I was tempted to get a cab but after getting charged £9 for a five minute drive around the corner I thought it’d go easy on my wallet and take the bus (£4.50) instead. 

After a 25 minute ride on the bus, squeezed in like sardines, I finally arrived at Heathrow airport, Terminal 4. To be fair, the journey went quickly… Most of the time I was fixated by a Japanese man covered head to toe in tattoos, piercings all over his face and long bright, bright pink and orange hair!! Blonde is obviously very last year. I tried getting a photograph but failed miserably.

While waiting to board the plane I spotted Gareth (Australia) from my hire session and a little later James (South Africa) (another Image Photographer) recognized us.

Now, I’m sitting on the plane (Delta) with nothing to do for 8 hours and 39 minutes! Sleep doesn’t seem to be an option so it looks like I’m going to be watching either Harry Potter, The King’s Speech or both. I’m absolutely starving! Bring on American XXL plates of food!!! 

Mama, I’m going to return to England a very, very big girl.

I’ll post again when I finally arrive at the hotel in Miami. Can’t wait to get off the plane and have a look around. I’ll get as many photos as I can and post them on Facebook and here as soon as possible.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AVRIL!! x