Aye Aye Sailor - Again

Aye Aye Sailor!

31^st July 2011

Aye Aye Sailor! That’s right I was scheduled to dress up as the sailor for gangway today in Cannes. Unlike last week I actually made it to the gangway! It was the first time I’d travelled to a port by tender (the port is too small for the size of our ship).

The overall gangway was much different from what I’ve experienced at previous ports. Usually people are constantly coming in and out of the ship, even if they are trickling through. Today is was a mad rush when the tenders arrived and then we’d stand around for 5-10 minutes with nothing to do. 

The attitude of the guests also seemed different. Getting people to stop for their photo was much harder than usual. Once we got into a routine, I was literally just holding one arm out to stop the other guests to walk into the photo. My other hand was held to my head saluting, looking straight at the camera with a smile plastered on my face. 

Once one person said no, everyone would and a stampede would start. The guests would be pushing and shoving to get off the gangway. Sandra (shooter) and I would have to smudge our arses off and I was even blocking people, standing in their way or holding my arm out. 

Normally we have to let crew go passed, unless they want their photo taken. Today, it was different. We had to grab the crew for a photo, whether it was to keep the queue going with the guests in line and following suit or to start things off again. Some guests were trying to get around us which at one point caused a stampede and Sandra and I struggled to get everything back under control. 

One member from Laundry came along and was about to walk past. Grabbing him I managed to quickly whisper an apology, but I had to get everyone or else the guests would make a run for it. He laughed and didn’t mind, so the other members of laundry join in with the fun and got their photos taken. As a small token for helping us on gangway and cleaning our costumes - for free and some times at short notice - I took gave them their prints later in the day.

Our target was 600 images but we didn’t reach it. Instead we got exactly 500 images. In fact, none of us hit our targets but we had a good go at it and most of us got near. However, getting near your target  isn’t always good enough. I suppose it could have been worse!

While working gangway our new hire arrived. We nearly have a full team! Leandro Kenji Sato. He’s originally from Brazil (half Japanese) and attended training with Camila in Miami so she’s over the moon that he’s joining our team on the Mariner. He’s also from the same part of Brazil as Luci. For a couple of days until Luci leaves there’ll be four Brazilians on the team. What we really of need are more Italian speakers, although Hernan’s soaking up the lingo like a sponge!

As soon as we were back on the ship we headed up for something to eat. We were starving. Sandra and I bumped into Hernan, Zoran and David who were going to the beach. They gave us rough directions to the beach they were going to and included the unnecessary detail saying it's “saggy tits heaven!” Not what we wanted to hear that before eating! The lads have a great time sitting on the beach looking at the sea of boobs and a royal laugh at the saggy pairs getting dragged across the sand!

After eating we quickly got changed and met in the photographer’s corridor. Sandra and I managed to jump on a tender just before it left. 

This was the first time I’ve been able to have a look around Cannes. Walking along the seafront we kept our eyes open for the guys but couldn’t find them anywhere. The place was packed. We walked along some more, had a nose around the small shops selling everything from spade and buckets to souvenirs. In the end we gave up looking for the lads and decided to park our bums on a quieter but still jam packed beach.

Everyone was shattered from the late nights and early starts so it felt great to be able to lay out in the sun and do absolutely nothing. Sandra and I had a good natter about pretty much everything. She told me a lot of Columbia and what she’d been doing before she came to the ship. 

Sandra wants to have fun, learn, experience things, become more open minded, and see different cultures. In short, most of her friends have kids now (she’s 26) and she wants to enjoy her life before any of that. She wants to go places and meet people before having to settle down somewhere. Opening her own business is also on her list of things to do. 

To talk to someone who is so much like you is like a breath of fresh air. Most of the people I (I'm 24 years old) went to school with have a kid, some even have two or more. Very few people I know want to get out and do something with their lives. They are quite happy slogging away at a dead end supermarket job, roped in by the endless, fruitless possibilities of being management one day. Most of them seem happy about knowing only what was in their back garden. Sandra and I wanted to know what was in everyone’s back garden including our own!

At 16.30 we headed back to the tenders. Crew all abroad was 17.15 while guests were 17.30 so we expected a queue and boy, was it long! While queuing saw signs advertising buses going non-stop to Monte Carlo. I was going to pop in and check the prices but it was closed. I’m determined to get there no matter how much it costs!

We bumped into Fabio on the tender. Well, it’s probably better said that he bumped into us… completely plastered. While tendering back to the ship Fabio had fallen asleep and kept slowly leaning to one side. On a couple of occasions we thought he was going to fall off the bench he was sitting on.

It wasn’t long until we had to change into our evening wear and get to work. We’ve all been rotating between gallery and studios. My first stint was in the gallery before taking over Leandro on our new backdrop “Beach”. It’s actually a really nice backdrop with a Cannes feel rather than a Caribbean. Zoran was on LSP. 

Looking around I saw someone acting strangely on the spiral stairs which twist themselves around the Centrums. The penny dropped… it was Brand Quality sniffing around. Coming to the bottom of the stairs, he stood around watching me. I smiled and nodded (he was too far to say anything to). I was hoping he didn’t look at the bottom of my trousers as they were as creased as tin foil. Maybe I should pay someone in Laundry to iron my clothes? After burning a triangle in one pair of trousers, I'm refusing to iron!

Brand Quality walked half way down the other set of stairs and was watching me from there, as if I couldn’t see him. It’s like Big Brother spying on you! Having someone watching you, waiting for you to cock up was so uncomfortable. 

Just as the was going down the remaining stairs, I disconnected my camera and ran to bridge walk way that separates where my studio and the centrums. I could see Zoran wandering aimlessly on Deck 3. Quickly calling him, I managed to signal that Brand Quality was on his way down. Zoran quickly connected his camera to the pentab and straightened his uniform out. What a load of palava!

Sailor Lou on Cannes Gangway, France

On the Red Carpet at Cannes, France

The Laundry Guys

Edi (Laundry)

Gangway... OWNED!!

Gangway… OWNED!

3^rd July 2011

Today we are in Rhodes again and it’d be the first gangway without Stu which means no more pouting knight! Zoran who does a fantastic job as the Greek God was dressed up in the Knight costume and it swamped him!!

At the last minute Fede wanted to shoot Zoran because David (Centurion) wasn’t ready. Sod off was my reply. Zoran and I were already on the gangway. Zoran was still a little worse for wear from last night but we got to work on the tour exit. Every so often we’d dart into the middle of the gangway and work both sides as much as we could. Within the first hour we had nearly 300 images. Our target was 400 each.

Fede came to join us a little later on gangway. David had locked himself out of his cabin and Fabio, who was free shooting, had forgotten his key inside too. Great stuff! 

Just as Fede came back over my Quantum battery died. It’d been on charge all night and hadn’t lasted two hours! My Quantum has been giving me so much grief recently. My flash doesn’t always fire, the light consistency is terrible and the battery simply isn’t lasting half as much time as it should.

Running to the lab I picked up another SD card for Fede, my spare wasn’t anywhere to be found. Grabbing another Quantum battery I locked up and headed back outside. 

David had finally made an appearance. Teaming back up again we continued shooting and smudging. People were lining up and the ones who refused were literally chased down until they gave in and had their photo taken. 

Fede and David reached 400 before Zoran and I did. There were however 400 images of the knight (Fede took over shooting while I went inside for another battery). They said they’d stay out on gangway shooting and help us get 800 in total. Before we knew it, we had 800 images in total. It wasn’t even 10am and we’d smashed the target, owned the gangway! 

Jomar told us to keep going even though we’d reached the target. We were due out until 11.30.

Smudging like hell and soon Fede and my right arm were aching like hell from holding the camera up to our faces. I must have spent about 10 minutes with my camera to my eye without lowering it once. It was a continuous aim, focus, shoot. It was fantastic!

By the time Zoran and I had reached 500 Fede and David were just passing 700!! This was a record for Europe. David and Fede said this was Caribbean style shooting. Zoran and I were in our element when we reached 600 images!! Every time we got to another 100 mark we’d be laughing in amazement with high fives all around!!

At 615 my 2GB memory card was full and I didn’t have another. God knows where my 4GB was but it wasn’t in the lab. It was 10.40 so Fede just said to go inside as there wasn’t much we could do. Fede was already on his second memory card and his flash batteries were running low (he was already on his replacement batteries). So Zoran and I had whacked up 615 images. We knocked on a few cabin doors to see if anyone else had a spare memory card so we could continue shooting. We were buzzing! No one had another memory card though.

David and Fede wanted to see if they could get 1,000 shots. They weren’t far off!! They’d done a fantastic job between them. Not long after we’d come in they joined us. Fede had to stop shooting, his arm was cramping and his flash batteries were dead. They had just over 900. Fabio, last time we checked had 150 and we had 615. That’s 1,665 images in total! 

We’d smashed our targets and had an image count to rival the Caribbean’s! It was an amazing image count for Europe when it’s sometimes a struggle to get over 600! The guys in costume were fantastic and not taking "no" for an answer. The Knight and Centurion were acting up, playing the part perfectly! They were absolutely fantastic! Fede was the ultimate shooter. All together we’d done a brilliant job and not only smashed the target but all expectations too!!

During gangway David raised his hands into the air and declared we owned gangway! And he was right… Gangway Owned!

Zoran the Knight

Message from Miami

Message from Miami

20^th June 2011

Yesterday was a bit of a blur really. The only thing that I remember is the meeting we had, lasting a good couple of hours and finishing after 01.00. Mike, from Image, was talking about how our ship was doing, our performance statistics, how we can improve etc. 

While working in the gallery he was pointing out photos telling me what we should and shouldn’t be shooting. For example, at the Acropolis (Athens) there’s a certain area where we should stay and just get the same shot. “It has to be a consistent shot” he informed us. If we didn’t get the same consistent shot we wouldn’t sell anything. Rather than people looking for something unique they are looking for the same shot as everyone else? To me it didn’t ring true, but he's the one with the experience and knowledge under his belt.

During the meeting Mike said while we are dressed in costumes on gangway we have to act like the character we are portraying. If you’re a dolphin, we cannot speak to guests. One guy from another ship used to dress up as a bear and walk around talking to guests telling kids he was a talking bear etc. That’s no longer allowed as it’s unrealistic as bears can’t speak… well I never! We also have to exclude any modern poses if we are ancient characters, such as a Greek God giving the thumbs up! Some sounded a bit over the top but, oh well, rules are rules.

Now we are to have a Gallery Host who is there to welcome people to the gallery and help them find their prints etc. On some ships they are even dressed up in a costume. Mike is going to try and get us dressed up in the gallery depending on the event. So during 70’s night, the Gallery Host, should be dressed up in the relevant costume/clothing. Sounds like a good laugh! I’m up for that one!!

In short, the message from Miami was “do better”.

Missed the Target

Missed the Target

11th June 2011

Good Morning Istanbul!

This morning Stu was dressed up as the camel and on gangway at 07.00 along with Fabio (shooter). Jeni who was dressed as the dolphin was teamed up with Fede. David soon joined the others on the gangway shooting the rail.

As before, during our previous trip to Istanbul we had to get an image count of 1,200 images. If we hit the target we’d get the afternoon and next morning off until 17.00. If not, we’d be hitting the gangway the next morning to get the image count.

To change things around a bit and increase our chances of hitting target, I was scheduled for a late gangway. I was taking over from David on the rail.

Walking out onto the gangway Jeni informed me things hadn't gone too well and that I was their last hope. 

The costumes had nearly four hundred photos each while David was scrapping one hundred. I needed to get the rest of the image count, approximately 300 photos. We all knew that was going to be impossible. Jeni wanted me to try and get 100 or more. That was a challenge in itself. 

I started at 10.30 and most of the tours had gone. By 11.30 I was left to my own devices on the gangway. Slowly I started racking up images and then it suddenly dried up. After a couple of hours no one was getting on or off the Mariner of the Seas. 

Talking to security they told me 220 people were left on board. To make matters worse the heavens opened the rain lashed down. Two more tours were coming off the ship so I smudged as best as I could to get the image count up. I was 30 images off 100. Roughly, every other person from the two remaining tours needed to be photographed. How did that go? Well, I managed to get 5 shots. 25 images were needed.

Asking security to check again, there was roughly 170 passengers left of board. The rain was getting heavier and the temperature dropping. Picking up the rail and slumping it on my shoulder, I headed back inside to call one of the managers and put on another layer of clothing.

Checking the schedule Luci and Reuben were out on tour. Reuben was the man I needed to talk to. I was reluctant to call Ritesh but had to. With an hour remaining on gangway, Ritesh asked me to get the image counts from the other gangway photographers and let him know our current total. In total we had approximately 886 images - too far off the target. 

Ritesh reminded me we needed at least 1,000 to get the rest of today and tomorrow off. Even though it was raining I was sent back out onto the gangway for at least another half an hour. After about ten minutes of smudging in the rain and getting nowhere, Ritesh came out to see how I was getting on. 

As soon as Ritesh walked over to me he yelped “oh fuck man, it’s raining”…. Yeah, I did tell you that, Ritesh. He stood by me as I tried smudging people into the rail. I was trying to make a joke of the rain, especially with the English guests “get a photo in the rain… it’s not like you get a lot of it in England”, “it’ll be a great shot to send home… no one would believe you’ve travelled all this way to get rained on”, “why are you running away? It’s not like we don’t get enough rain in England! You should be used to this by now”. Plenty of laughs but no photos. Ritesh soon realized that I wasn’t going to get a single image and not by any fault of my own. No one wanted a photo in the pouring of raining. Grabbing the rail we headed back onto the ship. He did warn me however that we could be working tomorrow on the gangway as we didn’t reach out target. Now that ladies and gents is a first class, royal kick in the balls!!

Jumping into bed for a bit, my head was banging, chest sore from coughing and I simply couldn’t get warm. I grabbed my book, Pure Evil, which the mama had bought me for Christmas and started to read. I dropped off to sleep in no time. A couple of hours later Ritesh walked passed and woke me up. Looking at me as if I had two heads asked me if I always slept in my uniform. The way he said it didn’t go down to well “no, falling asleep in my uniform is what sometimes happens when I’m reading and tired”. He just walked off looking utterly disgusted. Maybe next time I should close my cabin door? I hate closing the door. The place seems so enclosed, the complete opposite to what I’m used to.

Just as I was getting out of the shower Jeni knocked on my door with Regina, David and Sandra in tow. They were all going out to the usual internet haunt. Quickly getting ready we all headed out. Hernan, Fede and Stu joined us later. Hernan’s been down about something recently but won’t tell me… he keeps saying “tomorrow, tomorrow”. I knew that was a Spanish attitude but I didn’t realize it was Argentinian too!

Not long after the other three arrived Stu stormed off because he couldn’t get online and the guys in the bar weren’t much help. He's been so snappy lately but no one can pin point what's wrong.

Returning to the ship at 8.30ish we all met up a little later in SOB. Some people were already half cut – I won’t mention any names! Zoran was in SOB looking for Stuart who promised he’d help him out with his competencies. 

I didn’t fancy going out with the other photographers. It was not because I didn’t want to spend time with them. Istanbul is so expensive and I don’t have the money. I’m trying to pay off my security deposit, uniform and camera as quickly as possible. Last payday all my money went to pay Image off… Reuben was nice enough to give me a dollar for a coca-cola though!

Zoran and I headed out to use the Internet at Nargilem. I knew roughly where Stu would be and let’s face it… trying to find someone who is 6’7 wouldn’t be too hard. Within five minutes we’d found where he was. I wasn’t sure whether I should stick it in the place were Stu was or to go to the usual place. In the end, I joined Stu and Zoran for a bit and got on with blogging. 

Stu called me and turned his netbook around to show me something… he was reading my blog! My blog isn’t something I thought the team would read or even find out about. It’s posted on my Facebook but I never thought they’d give it a second glance let alone read it from start to finish. Stu reckons he'll "understand me better". If Stu reckons he’ll be able to understand me better by reading my blog then so be it. One thing that pleased me was that he actually gave me a compliment telling me I was a good writer… and even asked when the book was coming out. I knew is wasn't sarcasm for the simple reason that he's South African! Three people today have asked me when the book is coming out. Is that a hint? I told him there’d be things in there that he probably wouldn’t want to read but he’d read it anyway and wasn’t offended in any way, shape or form.

Zoran got on with his competencies and it wasn’t long until he’d finished the Photog1 section. Photog2 is quite a bit harder so he’d have a couple of goes at the tests. If he failed Stu and I jumped in to help him out a little by explaining how things were done. No matter how long you’ve worked or studied as a photographer for, Image is completely different. It’s like starting from square 1 and doing everything differently.

By about 5am we had helped Zoran finish off his competencies. To be fair, he didn’t actually need that much help. It was mainly on the usual suspects: Studio lights and Quantum flash. 

Getting back onto the ship we spotted Regina and Jeni. Jeni couldn’t go back to her cabin as it was “occupied” for the night. Regina soon went to meet David and they disappeared off to bed. It was just Stu, Jeni, Zoran and me. 

We sat in the corridor for a while just chatting and having a joke. The plan was to go up to Deck 12 and watch the sun come up over Istanbul. None of us had done it before and this was Jeni’s last Istanbul. The idea went to pot as soon as Stu mentioned going up for breakfast at 6am when the crew mess opened. 

After breakfast we went back to the corridor. So I didn’t wake Luci up I was also going to be staying at Stu and Zoran’s. Jeni and me jumped into Stu’s bunk while Zoran climbed into his own. Stu got one of the blankets and a pillow from his bed and crashed on the floor. There was literally no space to manoeuvre then again, that’s what you get when you pack 4 people into a shoe box!

Down Time... Finally!

Down Time… Finally!

30^th May 2011

These past couple of days have merged into one. Since embarkation, eight days ago, we have been on the go, working pretty much nonstop. Getting down time is hard at the moment, again, not just for me, but for everyone. Tempers have been flaring at little but it’s to be expected. As this is the first proper chance to sit down and type, I’m just going to type a review of the past few days, rather than a new entry for every single day. I can’t even remember what I did on certain days – it’s crazy!

Naples was obviously great, as usual. I went out with Luci for something to eat – pizza, pasta and cheese of course! Every time we are heading to Naples we fast, practically starving ourselves. When we arrive, we binge on pizza, pasta and cheese. What else would you do in Naples? Luci showed me another place that she goes to and I have to admit, the food was better than the regular place we go to.

Beforehand I had gangway. Reuben is letting me dress up in the costumes more and more – I love it! The shooter and I always get great counts which is a bonus. This time, I was a sailor. 

Rolling out of bed at 6 was hard, I was shattered and hadn’t been sleeping well. Things have been getting to me and everything is mounting up and getting on top of me. I need to do something about it, relax a little. Easier said than done.

Anyway, the outfit was pretty ridiculous. It was way too bit for me and Hernan’s hat was slipping off my head. Taking the hat off, Stu later came over and told me what I looked like – an idiot. Thanks!

During my 15 minute break I tied my hair up and put my sunglasses on before heading out for my last stint. Stu’s outfit was by far the best – Italian pizza chef. He even had a silver platter with a photograph of a pizza selotaped to his hand. He certainly looked the part which was more than what could be said for me! Anyway, Fabio and Stu were teamed up and David was shooting me. Altogether we got a good image count.

Pizza Chef - Naples, Italy

Cousin IT Sailor - Naples, Italy

Naples Sailor with my favourite Canadian guest, Daniel

 After lunch with Luci we did a bit of shopping and had a mooch around the shops. I needed to get a pair of sandals/flip flops for Athens gangway in case I'm the Greek Goddess again. I managed to find a lovely Greek style pair of sandals for 15 euros. I could wear them with anything – result. Luci also found a large, golden wrist clamp bracelet for 6 euros. Well, that's the Greek Goddess props sorted.

Just before heading off to use the internet I saw Fabio and David. Luci went off to use the internet near the port while I stayed with the lads for a beer. All in all, it was a great day – it’s days like this, that I love my job!

Fabio, Naples (Italy)

The Dave

Beeeeeeeeer!

On the third day of the cruise we had our first formal night which went pretty smoothly. My manager gave me two different studios to shoot in, the first two sessions were on a backdrop. The final stint was up on one of the centrums on Deck 5. I love the promenade centrum. The photos look absolutely fantastic – I wish I could post some on here for everyone to see. Shooting Ressi didn’t go as bad as usual, I got a much higher count than normal so it’s a sign I’m improving.

Here come the Greeks! Athens gangway was a royal laugh!! Stu was the Greek God and teamed up again with Fabio. I was the Greek Goddess and teamed up with Luci. Luci had to keep popping off for training so Paco, the AMS, would stand in for her.

We were just cracking jokes and having a laugh the entire time on gangway. I was first on gangway and getting most of the shots. Stu then changed with me so he was first but it didn’t have the same effect. Stu put me first in line saying “it’s the tits – people are stopping to have their photo taken because you’re a girl”. Basically as I was a girl, the guys were coming over for their photo and the girlfriends and wives were sometimes reluctantly joining them. After they’d stopped to have their photo with me, it was easy to smudge them onto Stu and Fabio. In all fairness, although we didn’t hit the almost impossible target, we got approximately 900 shots. We nailed it!!

Everything in general was improving and I was feeling better about myself. Everyone on the team noticed there was a chance and that I was generally happier. 

My BM certainly noticed the change as he pulled me into the office later on that night. As I was in a better “state of mind” he felt he could talk to me and ask what was up. To be fair, he didn’t get much of a reply. I didn’t want to talk about any of it.

Anyway, I’d had two bad comments – not one, but two! One came from the Naples gangway where I was dressed up as a Sailor. Apparently, the lady who complained (an American) didn’t want her photo taken with me as I looked too tired, shattered. She also said my outfit was way too big and swamped me leaving her confused as to what I was supposed to be dressed up as. Someone dressed in white, standing next to a ship, saluting – what could I have been dressed up as? 

The second bad comment said “Louise the English photographer was very rude and unhelpful”. Who the guest was, or the occasion, no one knows. I was left, not only baffled but almost let down. I hadn’t been rude to anyone. The main problem I have is that most Americans do not (strangely enough) understand my accent or my sense of humour. Although I try not to be sarcastic like I am to the English, I do try to have a joke with them when they are in the studio. It stops the guests from being ridged and feeling uncomfortable. So that could have been the case. 

Another could have been, sometimes people try and walk through my studio when I’m taking portraits. It’s incredibly annoying but I do ask people to walk around the studio, some people do not like this at all. 

The last thing I can think of which is when I’m in the gallery. Guests cut the line and pretty much tell me to serve them while I’m serving someone else (and there’s an obvious queue behind them). I point out the queue and say “I’ll be with you in a few minutes but there is a queue and I’m currently helping this guest”. To me, it’s not rude but the manager said that certain people would see it as rude because I’m not putting them first. What am I supposed to do? 

Anyway, Reuben told me to buck my ideas up and that I’m doing a good job. All I needed to do was carry on working hard, improving and “not fuck up”. That was the advice I was given. Reuben said he didn’t want to say anything during the last cruise as I’d been down in case it affected me or my work in any way.

Kusadasi was the next stop. During the morning I was on tour at Ephesus. It was a lot shorter than the previous but I was still dreading it. Having said that, although there were problems, it went much better than expected.

The tour guide told me to stay at the back of the group and keep everyone together. I explained that I’d do my best to keep everyone together but my main job was to take photographs of the guests as I’m the ship’s photographer. His reply: “just stay at the back”.

A little while later one of the Ephesus “photographers” came over. I say “photographers” because they are simply given a camera, not knowing how to use it and take over exposed or ever completely burnt photos which they try to flog at the end of the tour – somehow they managed to sell a few.

The tour guide introduced him to the goup. “This is our photographer so if you guys want a photo, this is who you come to”. I wasn’t best pleased. I got a couple to stand together for a photo and the bugger stood beside me and took the picture. The couple then walked off. I’d missed my shot – I was shocked he did it but then why should have I expected anything else? They were like pappazzi! He did it again, but this time he got in the way of my shot, partially blocking me. That was it! I was pissed! 

Leaving my group and went and stood by the library. There were three groups coming from our ship so I stood and waited. When they arrived I started smudging quietly and getting the shots. The “photographer” didn’t look too impressed. Good!

Ephesus Library

Later on he was taking a photo of someone, I don’t even think they were from our ship but I walked straight in front of him, and pressed the shutter release button. Whether the photo came out with the correct exposure, I didn’t know or care. He looked at me with a face of thunder – now he knew how it felt and how annoying it was. I did my “cute smile” as Luci calls it: a little closed smile where I tilt my head to the side slightly, before walking off. Needless to say I didn’t have any further problems there. 

I carried on walking to the areas which caused the most interested and simply waited to pounce. A lot of people said no, but I did get lot of good shots.

Once back at the ship I explained what happened. Ritesh also went on the same tour and only came back with 6 shots. I came back with 45 – although it’s not great, we normally have a tough time on tours, especially Ephesus who have their own photographers. It was great poking fun at the AMP for getting less shots than a P1. His excuses were so lame, you couldn't help but see the funny side  – including the AMP.

Short Straw & Kebabs

Short Straw and Kebabs

18^th May 2011

Istanbul has finally arrived! Mariner of the Seas will be staying overnight in Istanbul so we usually get the evening and morning off depending on how well our sales are doing and if we our hitting targets. In short, we weren’t doing either. 

Last night Reuben made a deal with us. The guys on gangway needed to get 1,200 images or more. If they reached their target we’d all get the next morning off. To ensure we got top whack we had two costumes – Stu dressed as the camel with Fabio shooting and Jeni as the dolphin and Luci shooting. David and Hernan were out later with the rail and Turkish flags.

Fede and I drew the short straws by the looks of things. My straw was by far the shortest! We were both on tour, Fede’s was five  hours while mine was ten!! I was doing the Classical Istanbul tour. 

After formal night and going to bed at 2am (or 3am in Fede’s case) the last thing you want to do is get up at 6am. On the bus I managed to fall asleep – nothing new there then. I had to try and get as many photographs as possible but no one really held out much hope. During these long tours, the guide whizzes around and you have practically no time to stop and look let alone have people stand together for their photo. In total I came back with a whopping 19 photos. Everyone was shocked when I said the amount of images I’d taken. I’d have taken more but there were only 20 people on my bus. Usually 40 people (give and take a little) will go on this particular tour.

To be fair it was pretty hard going but it was great being able to see some of the sights of Istanbul. Previously, speaking to my Dad he’d told me I must go to the mosques and Saint Sofia so I was pretty pleased I’d managed to get there…. Even if it's just to gloat and do the "Been There" chant (what else are daughters for?) I tried my best to get as many stock shots as I could to email the parents. Unfortunately I forgot to remove them from my memory card before taking it down to the lab. 

WARNING: If you're a cruise ship photographer, every time you take your memory cards to the lab, your memory card will be formatted, deleting everything on it. It doesn't matter what photos are on there, they will be deleted. It’s a royal pain in the arse, I can tell you!

During the day we stopped off at a Best Western hotel for lunch. The menu is interesting to say the least. Starters: rice, humus, bread and something that was in between a spring and sausage roll. Needless to say it was lovely. The main course was by far the best though. We had a “traditional Turkish dish”…. Kebab meat with rice and mash potato. Traditional and typical aren’t the words that spring to mind when I think of kebabs. In England, a kebab is the sort of junk food that you buy with your last remaining pennies after stumbling out of a night club as drunk as a skunk! Now I was eating the same in a nice hotel restaurant. It’s like going to a nice restaurant and getting McDonald’s. Things didn’t quite add up. I could help but break out into a smile.

Another highlight of the day, although maybe a random highlight, in one day, we crossed over to Asia, twice. Istanbul straddles the European and Asian boarder with the Bosphorus running in between. To cross the other side is an enormously long bridge, the Bosphorus Bridge, where the traffic, we are told, is always terrible. Most people live on the Asian side as it’s cheaper, nicer and safer while commuting to the European for work. The houses are very higgledy piggledy like they are in Spanish villages. Some of the building work could have bought a tear to even a “cowboy builder’s” eye.

I wondered how the others were getting on. It’s times like this when I miss having my mobile phone. Or should I say a working mobile phone? If I were in England or Spain I’d be texting or making a quick call to see how things were getting on. Not only that, but I’d be able to contact Becks a little more. Instead I'll to wait until I'm back onboard at 6pm.

Last stop of the tour was to the Grand Bazar. The tour guide gave everyone “free time” so everyone darted off to do their own thing. I was left standing there with my camera dangling around my neck and no extra photos. I gave up. There’s no way I could chase everyone around such a huge, bustling market. It was impossible. 

So, there I was in the Grand Bazaar with two hours to myself and I’d forgotten my laptop. I took the chance to put my headphones in and have a mooch around the world famous market. Passing one shop I saw a Tottenham Hotspur football shirt and thought of my Dad. They are all “fake genuines” and I was tempted to buy one and post it to Uruguay. Then I thought, what’s the point? The postage would cost more than a real football shirt. If I can get the right size, I’ll get one on our last trip to Istanbul. Presents for the Mama is easy, consider it done! I’m aiming to cover her fridge/freezer with magnets from all the countries I’ve been to. I’ve got to get Mama something else too, but I’m not 100% sure what. 

During my way through the bazar I saw pairs of funky, Turkish earrings. The price was cheap enough, but you can’t settle for the first price they give you. I got it down by 2TL (Turkish Lira) which is only about a euro. My haggling skills need improving. Having said that, paying 2€ for a pair of earrings is a bargain by anyone's standards, especially European. Thinking back to the U.K. if you'd found these earrings in Claire's or somewhere along those lines, you'd be paying around 8GBP.

Back at base Luci was still ill. I’m worried I’m going to catch her virus and it’ll make its way around the team. Once one member of the team has a bug or virus, you can be sure that it'll make it's way around.

The good news was that we had smashed our target by about 350 images so not only did we have the night off but also the following morning. No work until 5pm and then we were all in the gallery condensing and displaying images. Nice and easy, even if it's a little tedious, but you can't complain!

Luci and I headed out to our favourite Turkish place, Nargilem. It’s open 24/7, sells a wide range of weird and wonderful Turkish tea, no rip off prices and a fast internet speed. Stu was already there. I got to speak to the parents and contact a few people from England and Spain. 

The blog was finally updated too! I’ve been getting so behind with not being able to get online or working so much that I can’t even find time to type up the updates. It's either blog or sleep and I'm not going to lie, sleep wins 98% of the time! 

Luci left at about 1am, I was falling asleep so I ran back for a cold shower before heading back out again. Stu was doing his P3 competencies while I finished my P1 and started P2. By 4am my battery had ran out and we were shattered. I was determined to finish my P2 but no chance – it’d have to be tomorrow. We headed back to the ship for some much needed shut eye and arranged to meet tomorrow and finish off the competencies before heading out somewhere in Istanbul. How I love our 24 hours off in Istanbul!! 

 

Grand Bazaar, Istanbul, Turkey

Big Boy's Slide!!

Big Boy's Slide

4^th May 2011

Another day, another new port. 

This time Mariner of the Seas is docked in Ashdod, Israel. Half of the photographers have gone on tours to Jerusalem. Stu, Fede, Luci, David and I were given an easy day compared to yesterday. We were all up at 6am for Gangway at 7. Stuart was dressed up as the camel and paired up with Fede who’d be shooting him. David and I were on the rail. I was shooting while David smudged. Normally we work in twos but David could only stay until 8 because he had three hours of training. So, I was left to smudge and photograph on my own. Watching David smudge gave me some extra tips on how to improve. Even though I didn’t do as well as the others, I shot more than usual. Slowly but surely I’m getting better.

Everyone was working in different places today. At 15.00 David came back from training and we both wanted to go out for a bit. We desperately needed to get off the ship for a couple of hours. Sometimes, being on the ship feels like you're sitting around the house all day doing nothing.

Jumping on the shuttle bus David and I headed into Ashdod centre where the Captain of the Mariner said there was a huge shopping centre or “mall” as everyone calls it.

While walking towards the shopping centre we spotted this massive playground with an enormous climbing frame and slide. There were two kamikaze like slides. Running over to the climbing frame, like children, we started climbing up the ladders. 

After bashing our heads a few times on the frames we finally reached the top. Four ladders to climb before we got to the top - that'd never be allowed in the health and safety crazed country of England! Could you imagine Gordon Brown or Tony Blair allowing anything like that to be built let alone used by kids?? 

David was in his element. He’d found a “real big boy’s slide”. This had to filmed for future reference!!! I went down the slide first with David filming on my camera. 

Next he came flying down while filming… the prat managed to head butt my compact camera leaving him with a nice little bump!! 

After rolling around on the floor crying with laughter we ran back up again for another go. The joins in the slide really hurt your backside… wear some extra padding, unless you have a chubby arse like mine. Going down the second time was even better than the first, I flew down the chute but got ever so slightly worried when I saw the sparks flying off my trousers. Now I have a small patch of “slide burn” on my ankle. That’ll teach me for wearing three quarter lengths...

Heading towards the mall again David spotted the “Cookie Monster” and had to have his photo taken. It was one of the characters from McDonald’s, the purple hairy one. Well, it’d been made with flowers with great big eyes and even holding a metal umbrella. 

The shopping centre wasn’t so great but let’s face it, how could it be after finding something as grand as the big boy’s slide? We were trying to look for a birthday present for Luci but couldn’t find anything she’d like. Plus, Ashdod is so outrageously expensive! In the end I walked away with a small multiple card reader (I was stupid enough to put my card reader into storage) and batteries for my compact camera (I also forgot my battery charger – as you can tell, I’m smart like that).

At 17h we had to head back to the shuttle bus as I had work at 18h. Next time we are in Ashdod we are going to show a couple of the others where the park is. Both me and David we commenting how much Stu would love the park. At the end of the day, he may be 6’7 but he’s a big kid! I’ll upload the photos and videos as soon as possible.

From the Top!

Going Down...

Climbing Back Up For Round Two

Little Boy's Toy

David and The Cookie Monster!!