Revenge and Headbutting

Revenge

12th August 2011

Waking up for morning sale wasn’t as bad as I thought it’d be. Mainly because, during the night, I kept waking up and drifting off again.

At 04.30 Sandra came back to the cabin with Hernan, David and Zoran. Zoran ripped open my bunk curtains (it’s not the first time that’s happened) and woke me up telling me he’d just got a call from Jomar.
 Apparently Jomar said I needed to get out of bed asap, get ready and go out free shooting on gangway. He wanted me out there now.

At the time I had absolutely no idea what time it was let along whether we were still at sea or in port. The others were rolling up laughing because apparently I was still asleep talking to them, complaining like a baby that I didn’t want to work free shooting on gangway because my wrist was sore and I was too tired. Again Zoran tried to convince me to get out of bed to work to which my reply was several “baby like” no’s. Sandra finally kicked them out of the cabin and I carried on sleeping. All I can say is, I’ll have my revenge on Zoran… it’s just a matter of time!!

I was partially awake when the alarm went off at 6am however I didn’t get out of bed but drifted off for another 10 minutes. If the phone hadn’t rang, I wouldn’t have woken up. It was Edi, from Laundry, calling to make sure I was out of bed as I was completely shattered by the end of the night.

Throwing my clothes on I headed down to the lab for the reprints only to find that there weren’t any, they’d all been taken up to the gallery at midnight.

Opening the gallery with one hand wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be. There were a couple of panels I had to budge with my shoulder rather than two hands but I was open just on time and soon the people started flowing in.

This is my second morning sale and although I’ve heard the questions before, it never ceases to amaze me. The guests have been on the ship for a week. Most have already been in the gallery while the few odd guests haven’t.

One guy came over to me and I know he’s purchased photos before. He asked me how to find his images. I told him they were all displayed by country unless it was formal night which was displayed by dining room and studio. The guest asked if there was a quick way to find the photos to which my reply was “no, this is the only way I'm afraid. The kiosks are closed as the cruise has ended” (meaning he couldn’t view his photos digitally). Then he asked if he could view and purchase the photos online once he got home.

Picking up two photos the guest came over to the desk a short while later. I told the American man how much the total amount for both photos, before asking for his sea pass card. He was shocked by the price and said he’d changed his mind and only wanted one photo. Choosing the picture, I asked again for his sea pass card. Before finally handing it over he said “I thought everything was half price. They should be discounted, it’s the last day of the cruise”. Looking miffed when I told him we didn’t have last minute sales, he signed his receipt, snatched the photo out of my hand and stormed out the gallery.

Next another American guy came in with his much younger Filipino wife. They were on the kiosk (even though it was supposed to be closed – it wasn’t) and looking through their pictures. The man came over and asked how long it’d take to print his order of 4 pictures as he was leaving in 30 minutes. I explained that the kiosk prints wouldn’t be ready as there was no one working in the lab. “Why not?” he snapped. Lack of sleep was starting to kick in and I was losing patience. I explained that as last night was really the last opportunity to buy photos, we were over whelmed by people ordering re-prints. The re-prints then had to be printed for that night due to the large amount of guests disembarking the Mariner first thing in the morning. Due to everyone, like this guy, wanting prints at the very last minute the guys in the lab had been working until about 3am. “So basically these kiosks don’t work and they are only here for decoration?”  How the hell do you reply to that politely? All I could do was bite my tongue and offer to find their prints in the gallery.

Twenty minutes later and I’d found their prints. They’d chosen four prints and came over to the desk. I rang everything up and just as I said the price both pulled out coupons from their pockets. Two Diamond and one gold coupon. Fan-bloody-tastic!

Gold coupons give the guest their second photo for half price. Diamond coupons is any photo of their choice for free. So after 30 minutes of dealing with this couple I was charging around $32 instead of roughly $95.

Checking the sales and how much we’d sold, Zoran had obviously won the little competition last night. In the end, Zoran had sold $378 more than me and in total approximately $4,200, while I was around the $3,800 mark. Either way, that night I was the second best seller. Some people didn’t even get near to $3,000 so I was happy getting close to $4,000. Maybe next time…

Paco, who should have been in the gallery at 7 finally made an appearance at 8.50, 10 minutes before I was supposed to close up. Taking the keys from me he told me to go have breakfast and he’d close up. Deal! Skipping brekky I ran straight back to my cabin and jumped into bed.

My alarm was originally set for 11.15 but Sandra finally woke me up at 13.30 while on a break from embarkation. There wasn’t much I could do and no point in going out as I’d previously planned so I headed up to Back Deck for a couple of hours to type up a few new blog entries. I’m slowly getting on top of my blog updates but seem to spend my time either sleeping or working.

At 17.00 I was in the lab collecting the prints to be displayed in the gallery. The door came open and in walked Jomar with a new hire who’d just joined the ship. His face was so familiar but I couldn’t place him. After they’d left, the penny dropped and turning to Ritesh I told him that Alex, the new guy, reminded me of someone who went to Miami training with me and Hernan. It couldn’t be, could it?

Later on, up in the gallery Alex came over and said to me “I remember you from training in Miami”. So it was him! He was one of the few that’d been sent home for either not being ready or their English not being good enough.

I was kind of worried about Alex though. Although he’s new he just seem too quiet and slow. I needed to show him where the folios were and by the time I was at the other end of the gallery he was just coming around from the desk at the opposite side. Fingers crossed he was just tired from travelling and would speed and talk up.

Paco asked me to take Alex to the staff mess for dinner. Joining Whitney, who made a comment when Alex had gone for another drink. “He doesn’t seem the type to fit in with the photographers. You’re all loud, different and weird” Geez… Thanks Whitney! She had a point though. I was actually a little worried for the new guy (who comes from Belarus).

Back in the corridor I bumped into Hernan and David. As soon as I asked Hernan if he’d seen the new hire he cut me off telling me it was Alex from Miami training. He’d remembered him as well. Speaking to Hernan and David quietly I told them what Whitney had said and pointed out. I agreed with her to a certain degree.

The only thing that was on David’s mind was that this new guy was quite possibly gay and sharing a cabin with Paco… so he’d better watch his arse. Literally. Hernan could see where I was coming from but said we all needed to give him time to adjust and maybe he’d liven up a little bit. Too true, Hermanastro!

After work Alex was starving so I took him up to the Royal Café to see what food we could shift from the kitchen. The guys are always so over the moon when they see us (and within that comment is an overdose of sarcasm). A couple of crew members working inside the kitchen said there was no food for us. All of a sudden one of the chefs, from Indonesia, came around the corner and asked me what I wanted. I asked if there was any food going, anything welcome but as there wasn’t so not to worry. Calling me back, he told me to stay put and told the guy who usually refuses to give us pizza on formal night to get us two pizzas ready as well as sorting out some of the sandwiches that’d only to go waste. BINGO!!!

Walking around the I-95 with a tray of food wasn’t the best idea and we’d get in serious shit if we were caught. Ritesh spotted us and said he’d go and get a bag or something so we could sneak it into the corridor easier.

Alex and I ran down to Laundry were there were no cameras around. After shifting the food into the bags and dropping a couple of slices of pizza (Laundry are going to love us!) we ran back to the corridor. Everyone was waiting for us. Munch time.

It was about 1am and once again I was due on Morning sale for the people disembarking from Genoa. The plan was to go and play football… or in my case left handed ping pong. Sandra and I will be masters of ping pong by the time we’ve finished our contracts, until then, we are still crap and in need of a lot of practise. I played for a bit with Sanela, the supposed professional tennis player and coach, but she couldn’t hit the ball for love nor money. She was worse than Sandra and I and that is saying something.

Just as I was about to call it a night there was a huge bang followed by shouting. Looking over, David had his head in his hands. Running over to the pitch there’d been an accident while the lads were playing football.

Two people had jumped up to header the ball and instead, they’d headered David straight in the face. His eye was puffing up before our eyes. Telling him to stay put I ran down a to Deck 11 for ice. David appeared 10 minutes later and his eye was swelling closed. Although we were worried, it was typical of David to swell up and none of us could stop laughing. Especially with an enormous bag of ice covering half his face. It was a good job I brought the camera with me.…

Huge Bag of Ice!

Accident while Playing Football - Hernan and David

In the FACE!

This is what happens when crew members play football!!

Portuguese Teacher to Fatties

Portuguese Teacher To Fatties

3^rd August 2011

Not only is it turn around day but today is the day Luci leaves the ship. My Portuguese teacher and cabin mate is finally going on vacation. She’s been counting down the days for ages and now she can’t wait to sign off. Things have been hard on her recently and she was dog tired. It was good seeing her go on vacation but sad at the same time. She showed me around the ports when I first arrived on the ship, trained me, taught me a bit of Portuguese and so on. The list is endless.

While setting up for embarkation, I ran up to where the signing off crew members were gathered in preperation to leave the Mariner of the Seas. Thierry from Shops was also signing off. Giving them each a big hug, it was soon time for me to quickly run back to work. I'd miss Luci and Thierry. Even though you're happy they are finally going home, it's sad seeing your friends and team mates leave.

While working on embarkation, a couple of hours after Luci left, a familiar face popped their head into the terminal. It was our original AMS Paco returning back from vacation.

Today was the first time I’d gone beyond the terminal in Civitavecchia. I only had an hour and a half to spare before crew all on board. Jumping on the shuttle bus, Sandra and I headed into a small fisherman’s port. There wasn’t much going on, but the place was packed with guests heading towards one of the three ships in the main port. Sandra and I had a walk around the market before it was time to head back to the ship again.

Sandra has moved into my cabin and I’ve shifted to the bottom bunk. By the evening she was fully moved in and the suitcases hidden away under our bunk beds. Sharing a cabin with Sandra is going to be fantastic as she’s laid back and we get on like a house on fire! Camila has moved in with Sanela which she’s far from happy about so now there’s non stop complaining.

Originally, Camila wanted to move in with me, but due to the way things have been going, it's best if we don't live together. It's chalk and cheese. Sandra had wanted to move into the Photographer's Corridor for a while now, so first come, first serve. Either way, Camila is now in the Photographer's Corridor, which is what she wanted, but she's not happy.

Going into the gallery, Paco who called me over. Saying hi and giving him a hug, Paco told me “Lou, you were so sexy when I left. Where has all this weight come from? You’re not sexy anymore”. I rolled up laughing and had to comment and poke fun at his weight gain. Mine is down to eating crap and the lack of healthy food on board. Paco’s excuse was that he’d done nothing but eat on vacation. The rest of the evening was spent making jokes and poking fun at each other’s weight. At least I haven’t got a turkey neck forming like Paco does…

Leaving Drink for Luci - Luci & Fabio

Luci's Leaving Drink - Luci Getting her Present from the Photographers

New Cabin Mates - Lou & Sandra

Luci at Grand Bazaar, Istanbul

Luci in Rhodes, Greece

The Sexy Bunch: Lou, David, Hernan and Luci, Genoa, Italy

Nos Vemos Pronto Fede!

Nos Vemos Pronto Fede!

29^th July 2011

It’s turnaround day today and 50% of the guests will be leaving. Within a couple of hours those who have disembarked will be replaced by embarking guests. 

Today is slightly different from most. Fede automatically takes charge of embarkation. Today, it was Hernan, Zoran and I working together to get things set up. Sanela was dragging her heels like usual and late again.

Hernan and Zoran went to get the backdrops, caution signs and auto poles while I nipped down to the lab to gather the camera equipment. While in the lab, Sanela came down to ask for the store room keys. I told her they were in the door. After standing around watching me for five minutes she asked if she should take the keys up to Hernan and Zoran. Obviously! How else were they supposed to get what we needed out of the store room? 

She returned 15 minutes later asking me where I get my shore pass from. I told her I had a British passport and therefore didn’t need a shore pass anywhere in Europe. She then asked where does she get her shore pass from. The girl has been on the ship for well over a month and should know where to get her shore pass from by now. The only place that I could think of was in the envelop that Luci hangs in the corridor. Sanela disappeared telling me she was going to look for it. It rankled that she was going to look for her shore pass 30 minutes after starting work. Why not get it before you start work? We are already Fede down and we needed all the help we could get!

In the terminal, the lads were asking where Sanela was. When I told them, Zoran said she didn’t need a shore pass at this port if she was working. When she finally returned Ritesh got her to help him put up a backdrop. Hernan and Zoran were setting up the second. I busied myself setting up the cameras and pentabs. Within no time we were set up and ready to go. All we had to do is wait for the embarking guests to come… which wasn’t due for another 30 minutes.

Deciding who was doing what was easy. There were four of us, two shooters and two smudgers. Zoran and Hernan wanted to shoot as they’d be smudging later in the dining room. Sanela didn’t say a word so I told her she’d be smudging the quite studio while I’d take the busier one. That way, she can get a bit more practise smudging.

Before setting up we’d all gone for breakfast with Fede and again it was like a count down. Hernan had told Fede he just wanted him to go, now. Hernan didn’t want to say bye and felt like the time was dragging too much. He had a point and Fede knew where he was coming from. 10.00 came and Fede came back into the corridor to say Image had messed up his hotel reservation and he’d now be leaving at 13.45. All he could do was sit in the cabin and watch TV. His Sea Pass Card had been taken off him as he was disembarking so he couldn’t even get off the ship for a wander around.

Finally the guests started to trickle through the studios and we were getting everyone to have their photo taken. We were doing well and the counts were going up and up. 

Just as things went quite Fede came running into the terminal, bear hugging Hernan and Zoran. This was it… Fede was finally going on vacation. Running over to me, he gave me an enormous cuddle (where that skinny guy gets his strength from, I’ll never know) and kiss on the head. Seeing Fede say bye to Sandra was so sad! It’s a good job we’d both brought our sunglasses with us because they were needed! Both Sandra and I disappeared behind the backdrop to control water works. Once again, as we did when Stu and Jeni left, we pulled together as a “family”. This time we were all making sure Sandra was okay.

Sandra has really grown on me within these past couple of weeks. Originally, I wasn't too keen on her, but she's proved me wrong. Sandra's, in fact, a lovely girl and a big part to the Mariner of the Seas photog family!

Hopefully sometime in the near future I’ll see Fede again. I’d love it if Hernan, Fede, Jeni and Sandra came to Punta del Este (Uruguay) for a few weeks. Let’s hope things turn out the way they are planned. Until then, nos vemos Fede!!! We are really going to miss you!!!

David, Newman and Fede - Last Formal Night

Hernan and The Dave

Typical!

Fede and David on Fede's Last Formal Night

The BEST Formal Night Photo EVER!

Toga Party when I first joined the Mariner - Stu, Luci, Fede & Me

Mariner of the Seas Photog Team
Bottom: Camila, Sandra and Sanela
Middle: David, Fede and Hernan
Top: Ritesh, Luci, Zoran, Jomar, Fabio and Me

Mariner of the Seas Photog Team - Group Photo - July 2011

Classic Mariner of the Seas Team Photo - Fede's Leaving Team Photo

Fede's Last Formal Night

Fede & Sandra

 

A New Chapter

A New Chapter

22^nd July 2011

Off with the old and on with the new! That’s right, it’s embarkation time again. 

We are back in Civitavecchia, Italy. The two week cruises have finally come to a close and we are at the beginning of a new chapter. 

For the next 7 weeks we’ll be doing seven day cruises and inter-porting. Inter-porting, is basically having two cruises merged into one. We’ll be having two embarkation days, one in Civitavecchia and the other in Genoa, Italy.

The countries we’ll be visiting this time are: Civitavecchia (Italy), Genoa (Italy), Cannes (Monte Carlo) (Italy), Barcelona (Spain), Palma de Mallora (Spain) and Corsica (France). 

Although I lived in Spain for 14 years I’ve only ever driven through Barcelona and never had a chance to look around. I’m incredibly excited about some of the new ports but there’s one in particular: Cannes (Monte Carlo). I’m desperate to go to Monte Carlo, it’s a place I’ve wanted to go to for years. I’ll literally be running around the F1 race track snapping away.

Approximately 2,200 guests would be embarking today and roughly 1,200 would be Italians. Italian season is in full swing! Italians are notorious for not trying to speak another language other than their own, a little like the England and Americans! 

Instead of setting up three backdrops, we set up two inside the terminal. Another bonus was we were allowed to wear our white shirts. Wearing the black GTP shirts in the sun last cruise was an utter nightmare. We were roasting! 

During my five hour stint on embarkation I picked up a few Italian phrases from Fabio and Sandra. Nothing special but useful things like, “let’s get your photo” and “have a nice day”. Every time I try to count one, two three in Italian, the two comes out in Portuguese. I guess you can’t have everything!

Things were slowing down and we were rapidly getting bored. An Italian family were walking towards our set up. Bouncing up to the guy I smiled and and laughed “Tutti Frutti… Let’s get your photo” in Italian. The guy didn’t look too impressed and abruptly replied “Italiano”. I really didn’t  know what to say, I was completely dumbfounded! 

Later on I told Sandra what had happened and she couldn’t stop laughing and called Fabio. Telling him what happened, he did the same but told me to be careful. “Frutti” sounds very similar to a slang word meaning “gay” in Italian, so the guest could have misunderstood me and thought I’d told them all they were gay. Oops!! Trying to look the least bit concerned failed as I creased up alongside Sandra.

Luckily enough there wasn’t a pax dril today, that’d be tomorrow once all the guests were on board. Unfortunately, there wasn’t time to get off the ship to have a look around in the port. 

Towards the end of the shift, as things were going quite, Jomar left to get us a burger from McDonald’s. We were all joking he’s trying to sway our votes as he’s not the most popular at the moment.

Once embarkation was over it wasn’t long until I was due to shoot LSP. My knee’s been playing up recently and not getting any better. It keeps blowing up like a balloon but I’m refusing to go to the medical facility. I’ll see if it sorts itself out. Sitting on the posing boxes, the ship was almost deserted. 

Smudging was impossible, I was either ignored or told no. During the entire one and a half hour stint I managed to take two photos – both were for a crew members passport. Sanela did the middle shift on LSP and came back with similar results. So much for hitting the 100 image target. We didn’t even scratch the surface.

Jomar has now come up with the bright idea of us working until midnight. Everyone was sitting around for the last hour with nothing to do. People were slowly drifting by earlier on in the evening but from 11 onwards, there was no one to be seen. Just us photographers. 

By the time we broke the studios down and closed the gallery it was 01.15. The printer in the office has broken down so we all had to head down to the lab to get our schedules for the next day.

By 02.00 I was wrapped up in bed. The alarm was on and I was dreading waking up at 06.30 for gangway!

Genoa, here comes the Mariner of the Seas!

Oh, and House Keeping left us all a present...

 ... which Hernan wanted to test his karate skills on...

... unfortunately, my camera battery died just as Hernan took his second attempted and kicked the toilet roll off the door handle!!

Bright Light

Bright Light

11^th July 2011

That’s a wrap! The Istanbul cruise has come to a close and we are preparing for the final Holy Tour route to Israel. It’s out with the old (guests) and in with the new. It’s very much like that on the cruise ship, in a way, it can be seen almost as a bus route. A very luxurious, expensive bus route but a bus route all the same.

We are back in Civitavecchia, Italy. Things on this embarkation are a bit different from the last. In fact the entire cruise was different from the previous. We are no longer allowed to set up studios in the terminal as we were “holding people up and causing queues” because people were waiting in line to have their photo taken. This time we had two backdrops set up outside and once again there was no shade. We had to wear our black Get The Picture shirts… lovely! The smell of cat’s pee was rife and making a few stomachs turn. 

As soon as we were finished setting up, the guests started coming through. We were all on time for once and things were running as smooth as possible until my pentab took a leave of absence and then a guest knocked it over!! R.I.P. pentab is all I can say. 

Another bonus was that we weren’t under staffed. Okay, so it was Camila’s first embarkation but she did a good job. She just needed to stop chatting to the huge amount of Brazilian guests she saw. She did give it a good go though, and that’s what matters the most. 

Sanela still needs to speed up and stop standing around, maybe that’ll come with time. Somehow I doubt it. It’s almost as if she doesn’t want to be here so refuses to put the effort in. You don’t have the be the greatest as a new hire, no one expects it. All you have to do is show an interest and try. That’s all anyone asks for.

So, it’s been two weeks since Stu made his abrupt exit from the team. Although I sometimes miss having Stu around to talk to and have a joke with, things are easier going. I’m still appreciative of his training and everything he's done for me, but now I’m far more relaxed about things and not constantly worried about being scrutinized. In fact, I’m settling in nicely, feeling more and more confident about what I do as the days tick on. In a way, I’m glad.

The atmosphere is a lot more chilled and I’m not the only one to notice it. Certain other things have been said about Stu’s departure and what went on, so it’s not just me. This isn’t a case of “out of sight, out of mind” but if you’re on the team or know one of us personally to know the full story, you’d know what we’re on about. 

It’s safe to say there is light at the tunnel and it just so happen to be a very bright light. I’m enjoying my time on the ship more than ever. In the end, the day Stu and Jeni left, everyone grew that little bit closer. Everyone was there for one another and it was like we became a stronger “family” unit. We became a stronger and better team. Naples proved that we are a fantastic team. I think the Mariner of the Seas photog team is brilliant and now we're like an on board family. We are all very different but in a way, so very similar and just click.

The itinerary hasn’t changed but the order has. Setting sail at 17.00, we were in for two days at sea. That seemed like hell, after all, we’d only just stepped onto dry land after two sea days.  Afterwards we are set to arrive in Haifa followed by Ashdod, Israel. 

Formal night is tomorrow and there is a massive group of Brazilians on board. Jomar is telling us to shoot the Brazilians as much as possible as they will buy absolutely everything. He’s certain this cruise will be a good earner, simply because of the Brazilians on board. Whoever would have thought that one nationality would have made such an impact?

As it’s the start of a new cruise, it’s also payday! My wages were pretty good. I sold quite a lot last cruise even though it didn’t seem like it. While in the gallery, I’ve been choosing an item or two to sell which gets offered to every single person. It makes a difference. 

The best news of all, was that there were no deductions made to my salary. When I asked why, I was told that I’d finally paid off my debt to Image. The deposit, camera and uniform ($1,300) were paid. Finally! Now anything that came my way was for me and my savings… or so I thought.

During the meeting Jomar told us that Ocean Pay would soon be coming our way. Ocean Pay is a debit card where our future salaries will get paid on to. It means we won’t have wads of cash stashed in our safes. That’s the main advantage to Ocean Pay.

If you have family at home whom you want to send money to, the transaction fee is a lot less than what the banks would charge. However, with every pro there’s a con. We are allowed one free withdrawal every 2 weeks, after that there is a charge and I have no idea how much it is. No one does.

The main kick in the teeth that comes with Ocean Pay is that three weeks of our wages will be held, almost as a deposit. What the deposit is for I don’t know. When we questioned it, our BM told us “I don’t know. It’s just the way it is.” 

From what Jomar was telling us, new hires will not get paid at all until they have paid off their debt to Image. Personally, this seems extremely unfair, considering new hires have to spend a considerable amount of money getting their medical, visas and uniform sorted. For me, if I was joining Image today, with the new system, I’d think twice and probably by pass working on cruise ships. The main reason for this is because I simply wouldn’t be able to afford to pay for it all and have enough for two months plus of ships. It’s madness.

Now that we are finally sailing towards Haifa, Israel, it’s time to get some sleep before working in the gallery. Two days at sea, and I’m planning to catch up on my sleep as much as possible.

Early Departures

Early Departures

28^th June 2011

It’s only 10.15 and the tears are in full flow!! 

Jeni has just signed off but we were kind of prepared for her leaving. It’s still so hard to say goodbye to someone you might not see again, or won’t see for a long time. She’s been a great friend to have and it’s a shame she’s resigning from Image but Jeni’s going home and she’ll be getting to see her nephew for the first time. Jeni, if you ever read this: que tengas muchisma suerte y te queremos mucho. Cuidate guapa. Te quiero.

The biggest shock came this morning. I don’t even know what time it was. Stuart woke me up to tell me he’d been fired. He asked if I could help him pack his suitcase. I knew it was coming. Someone higher up the ladder had whispered something to me the night before informing me that Stu was a goner. It still didn’t soften the blow anymore. It still felt like getting walloped by a sledgehammer!!

The person who took it upon himself to train me has been fired. He was stupid for allowing a guest into the crew area to help him with the American family’s presentation but still, we were all clutching straws, hoping he wouldn’t go. All our hopes were officially dashed when Stu came in to confirm what we all knew deep down.

Helping Stu pack his suitcase seemed almost unreal. Knocking on David’s door, we asked for some more help. Jomar, the BM (replacing Reuben) was supervising Stuart. It was ludicrous that Stu had to be supervised by a manager at all times like a freaking criminal. What for? We're on a ship!

As the news began to sink in, so did the anger. Half upset and half angry, I couldn’t believe Stu could be so bloody stupid and let some guest into the crew area, our photographer's corridor. Ever since I got to the ship Stu has been training me, pointing out what you can and can’t do. If I did get something wrong, I’d have him on my case like a rash. Now he was the one who had not only done something wrong but gone against one of Royal Caribbean’s zero tolerance policies, allowing one of the Honeymoon guests in to our area, and got the sack.

I think the one thing that annoyed and upset me the most was that he put the guests first. Since those superficial, surgerically enhanced American, "Honeymooners"arrived on the ship, Stu has been putting them first. Now, because of them, he's packing his case and leaving us, leaving our photog team.

Stu popped into my cabin. I didn’t really know what to say. I did have plenty of questions though. The main question being “Why? Why be so stupid for guests?" When I asked he didn’t seem to have much to say which left me more confused than before. Guests are just that, guests. They come and go, they aren't your friends. Why put guests first when your team and friends are warning you against it?

Stu told me to finish my contract, save some money, get a flight to South Africa and stay with him. See South Africa and what the country has to offer. Although Stu was upset he was about being fired and leaving us, he wasn’t too bothered about leaving to a certain extent. He was going home, he could fly to Saudi to see his Dad and things on the ship hadn’t been going as he’d planned.

Sitting around in the photographer’s corridor waiting for 12.00 when Stu would disembark from the ship was painful. I was constantly checking my watch. The time was going slowly, which should’ve been a good thing, but this felt like Stu was on Death Row and we were waiting for him to get strapped in the chair!!

Luci, now supervising Stuart, was sitting on the photographer's corridor crying her eyes out. She can't believe how stupid he's been. He ran after the rich American, plastic family as if they were God's gift to Earth... now he was leaving with nothing, except an earful of false promises from them. Was Stu just following the scent of money and a better way of life?

The time came for Stu to leave. Picking up his bags, Luci and I walked Stu to the taxi. Saying goodbye was so hard it was untrue. None of us wanted Stu to go. He seemed fine with it though, he didn’t see going home as a bad thing. Luci and I were left hugging each other, crying our eyes out as we watched taxi drove off. Turning a corner and Stu was gone. He'd left us. Gone.

Getting back onto the ship, I had to gather my things and start shooting embarkation straight away. Walking into the photographer’s corridor knowing that Stu wouldn’t come back made us feel more and more like hell.   

All of a sudden we saw someone in Stu’s cabin. An Indian guy had moved in for the night. This was taking the biscuit… in fact, it took the whole packet! Stu had only disembarked 10 minutes ago and already someone had moved into his cabin. His bed probably wasn’t even cold and someone new was going to be sleeping there. It seemed unfair, even if that is the way the cookie crumbles.

Shooting embarkation was tedious. We had a different set up to the usual and it wasn’t working. Our backdrops were irrelevant to the ship and it seemed almost pointless. The guests this cruise are going to be difficult. Two guests had a go at me for not wanting their photo taken. “Why should we have our photo taken for facial recognition? We won’t buy any photos” “We’ll do it later” “We don’t need facial recognition”… I lost my temper, so holding back the urge to tell the lady where the hell to go, I smiled as much as I could and using as much sarcasm as I could muster told her “ok then, gooood luck finding your photos then” before turning my back to her. Fede seemed shocked and told me to calm down and not to take things so personally.

While smudging and shooting an Argentinian lady started shouting at me that she didn’t want her photo taken. I told her, if she doesn’t want a photo then go. Still she stood their shouting at me so I asked her to move out of my studio (yes, she was standing in front of my backdrop). The lady told me what I was doing was a farce as never before has she had a security photo taken on a backdrop. I explained it wasn’t for security but for our facial recognition programme but still she carried on running her mouth. Through gritted teeth I snarled “look, I’m only doing my job. If you don’t want a photo then get out of my studio. The ship is that way” and pointed to the ship’s gangway. She said she was going to complain about me… which she probably will.

Jomar came out to tell me he was changing my emergency card again. This is the third time I’ve changed card in one cruise! I was taking over Jeni’s place which means I now have to attend pax drills. 

Pax drills are emergency drills at the start of every cruise to show guests how to put on their life jackets, where the assemble and we also have to launch a life board. So Jeni, if you are reading… THANK YOU FOR THE PRESENT!!!!

Later on, I was working in the gallery. I spent an hour talking to a lady who had lost two Sony cameras in a day. One she left in the hotel’s safe and the second in a taxi, yet it was our fault that we didn’t sell Sony cameras or a camera like hers, or with the price tag that took her fancy. There’s no satisfying some people. In the end her husband called to say he had found one of the lost Sony cameras. Her reply, directed at me, was infuriating “Thank God I’ve had some good news for today because you’re selection of cameras is terrible”. My reply: you should’ve seen the camera selection we had two cruises a go (we had two cameras)!

In the end I sold another lady a Canon 100HS compact camera. It was quite tricky trying to sell someone something when you have another guests trying to influence her about our cameras… even though she admitted to being an amateur. She was however an expert on prices though! All our cameras are apparently overpriced etc. When I tried to explain that we don’t guarantee the price but do guarantee the quality as all our cameras come direct from the manufacturer, they both told me they didn’t care where the camera came from. All they cared about was the price! Fair point.

Once the owner of the Sony camera had finally gone I got on with what I was supposed to do. Gallery wipe down. Along with the new girl, Camila from Brazil, we had to remove all the photos from the previous cruise. 

Starting at opposite ends of the gallery, I opened a panel only to find photos of Stu and I, working on the gangway in Rhodes. Clearing away the photos is normally a straight forward job, mainly because you know they’ll be taken again on another cruise. Taking down Stu’s knight in shining amour was so upsetting. The photos were the last gangway he’ do with us and in many ways it seemed wrong taking them down. 

Taking a few of the best photos, I went into the office where Luci was working. She told me I had to bin the photos as she couldn’t look at “this big bubaloo”, I could however take a couple of the best for our cabin’s photo wall. If I said I managed to rip all the photos off the panels with dry eyes, I’d be lying through my teeth! 

Luci came out to see how I was getting on with wipe down. I came across America’s superficial, real life Barbie and Ken (the parents of the American family). Making a comment to Luci about them (which I won’t repeat) she had tears in her eyes and told me to tear up the photo as she couldn’t look at the manipulating plastic people who she felt were mainly responsible for Stu leaving. 

Ripping up their photos into tiny shreds actually gave me some sort of sick satisfaction. If only there was some kind of voodoo involved… could you imagine all the collagen, hair extensions and silicone flying all over the place!!??

Luci asked me to come up to SOB after work. We had to welcome the new girl but also have a drink for Stu and ourselves. “Come on Lou, we deserve a drink”. Deal! 

Finishing up, most of the photogs went up to SOB for a drink for Stu and Jeni. To make a joke out of Stu’s untimely exit, I cut up one of the Pizza Chef photos from Naples and taped it to a wooden stirrer I’d got from the staff mess. Stu was coming up to SOB for a drink!! 

Showing it to the rest of the team, they all started laughing along with a few cheers! A couple of the guys gave me a hug and kiss on the head before shaking their heads and laughing at me. At least it was getting a laugh! Getting the camera out and taking a few photos with Stu had people smiling and in some cases holding back tears. 

Knowing how close I was to Stu, the other photographers rallied around making sure both Luci and I were alright. They were all saying “you’ve still got us”. It makes you realize that even minus a huge part of the team, I’m lucky to have these guys as friends and team mates!!

When I got back to the photographer’s corridor I automatically checked Stu and Zoran’s door to see if it was unlocked. I nearly went in to say goodnight to someone who wasn’t even on the ship. It was just something I automatically did. 

Climbing into bed, it seemed unreal Stu wasn’t around. Some of the things Stu had said were floating through my mind. Thinking about the invite to go to South Africa at the end of my contract, it would be great… but I’ll see if they offer is still in place still stands in three months’ time. After all, time does change things.

At one point Stu had told me getting fired was just another part of his life story and a new experience was about to begin. Stu, maybe you’re right. Maybe this is a new experience, the start of something new and a continuation of your life story… in a way we are happy that you are going home, if it’s what you wanted. In a way we are being selfish as we didn’t want you to make an untimely departure, we wanted you to stick around for longer. So, yeah, maybe you are right… but you can’t expect us to like how this chapter of your life story ended…

Photographer's Corridor Party - 7th June - Jeni Getting a Hair Cut! Sandra, Jeni, Stu & Luci

Photographer's Corridor Party - Jeni

Stu Chopping Away at Jeni's Hair

Leaving the Mariner of the Seas Photog Team: Jeni & Stuart

"WHY? WHY DID YOU DO IT? WHAT THE FUCK MAN?!" (Zoran)

Photog 2

Photog2

15^th June 2011

Yep… that’s right, I’ve finally been promoted to Photog2! 

David pointed out that I was Photog2 on the schedule and I thought it was a mistake – it wouldn’t have been the first time. During the evening meeting after a day of working our backsides off, Reuben announced I was P2. I wasn’t the only one to be promoted either. Fede, the lab bitch (lab assistant) was also promoted from P2 to P3! He bloody deserves it too, more than anyone!

Let’s rewind to the start of the day. It’s Civitavecchia again and another embarkation has arrived.

This time Reuben is trying to come up with new ideas and improvements to get more photos, sell more and ultimately earn more revenue. Usually we get the new arrivals to stand next to “Welcome Aboard” signs. The only problem is that most of the European ports aren’t exactly the most picturesque. In fact, some are pretty darn ugly! So this embarkation we were going to take a leaf out of someone else’s (or should that be ship?) book: we were using backdrops. We’ve never used backdrops before but Reuben believed it’d be a better way of getting people to stop and have their photo taken. 

Civitavecchia is usually very windy and embarkation is obviously very busy so a few of us were sceptical as to whether using backdrops would actually work and how safe the set up would be. The last thing anyone wants is someone to trip over the autopoles holding the backdrop up or the whole thing blowing over! It could cost us our jobs, ruin someone’s holiday, cost the company money in lawsuits etc. It would be a nightmare from start to finish. While setthing up we were all dubious and extremely worried. The wind was  blowing the backdrops around and there was no chance of moving into the tent/terminal – security weren’t going to allow it.

Set up took a lot longer than normal as we were busy trying to get backdrops to stop blowing about and make sure there was no way anyone could trip over. 11.00 soon rolled around and the guests started arriving. We ran around like headless chickens connecting the cameras and pentabs. People just seemed to drop into position, shooters had their cameras around their necks, smudgers were in place and getting people to the studios.

I took a go in both smudging and shooting. Fede told me to speak up and if needs be, shout. A few people were getting past so we took the security approach. We stopped trying to persuade people to have their photo taken and just started shouting “okay guys, everyone have your sea pass out please”. It wasn’t long until we had a queue of people with their sea pass cards in their hands. It was then like sending lambs to the slaughter house.

Here’s the set up. Two backdrops – both featuring an image of the Mariner of the Seas. Each studio had a photographer (obviously) and a smudger. The smudger’s job was to get the guests sea pass cards and swipe them so the details are logged onto the pentabs. 

There is a main smudger who stands before the studios. They basically stop the crowd, have the guests stand in line and wait for their photo to be taken. The main smudger also gets the guests sea pass cards, passes it on to the studio’s smudger and says something along the lines of “if you’d just like to follow (smudger’s name) down the second back drop”.

It wasn’t long before we were racking up image counts. People were quite happy to have their photo taken on the backdrops. Obviously you do get people who just want to get onto the ship. They are groggy after travelling for endless hours. As annoying as it is, it can’t be helped; slowly but surely I’m learning what to say to them and more importantly feeling less embarrassed/agitated about it. 

Before, I’d feel almost ashamed to keep on at people to have their photo taken when they say "no". You’re effectively hounding people like paparazzi. Now, it’s becoming easier. I’m getting immune to it all. I still get my days where I can’t stand doing it though. I'm too used to working with people who actually want their photo taken.

A new hire was due to arrive today. She’s just finished her training in Croatia and is from Serbia. Having said that, Image normally get arrival times wrong (Hernan and I were supposed to arrive to our ship the day we flew out for Miami training). 

During the day we did, however, get confirmation that Sanela was due to arrive today... but she missed her flight! Only one flight and she missed it! That provided a few laughs and raising of eyebrows in disbelief. How can you miss a flight? If you miss a connection flight because of a delay, it’s understandable, but one direct flight, from your home airport? Come on!

Most of our day was spent on embarkation. Later on some of us were in the gallery displaying the prints from embarkation. Two studios were set up – LSP and a backdrop from embarkation. The backdrop from embarkation was for those who either missed the photo opportunity (mostly through personal choice) or didn’t like the outcome of their original print. 

The ship was almost dead. There'd be spells of 15-20 minutes without seeing a single guest. It's incredibly unusual for a ship with such a large capacity. Everyone was knackered from travelling and having an early night. 

Once the guests came out of the dining room they were either off to the Welcome Aboard show at the Savoy Theatre or to bed. Rather than taking photos I spent most of my time in the studio pointing out to lost guests where the ladies’ toilets and Savoy Theatre are located. I even got people asking me for dining room table reservations. How many waiters/dining room attendants have cameras dangling from their necks?

Looking through the embarkation prints I could see what Reuben meant about using the backdrops. More people would buy these prints, they were far better than the type we were previously shooting.

During the meeting Reuben told us about some of the changes that were going to be made during this cruise. We’d finally had a delivery of cameras. Hernan and I have been here two months and never seen a delivery! This is mainly due to the earthquake in Japan. 

We'd also had a delivery of gangway costumes. Cor blimey… some are bloody ugly! I now have a new Greek Goddess dress - it's a tent! Mine, which I purchased in Rhodes, is far better but Image want sample shots so I’ll have to wear it on gangway. There’s a Crete girl outfit which doesn’t look too bad. Hernan has got his sights on the Matador outfit for when we dock in Barcelona during the 7 day cruises (Italian Season). The Flamenco dress would bring a tear to any Spaniard’s eye – it’s awful and sparkly.

As it was the beginning of a new cruise it was also payday and guess how much I earned? A staggering $1. Reuben sent the remainder of the wages to pay off my Image account: $500 security deposit, $200 uniform and $700 Nikon D90. The way Reuben's been paying into my account I should be almost finished. It’s something I’ll have to check though, see how much needs to be deducted.

High fives to Fede for getting to Photog 3!!! It’s just a shame he’s due to sign off soon.

Gangway Costumes (New and old)

Zoran as the Crusader - Ashdod, Israel

New Greek Goddess Costume & Greek God, Athens (Greece)

Matador David & Fede, Barcelona (Spain)

Matador - Hernan, Barcelona (Spain)

Sailor, Cannes (France)

Crete Girl, Chania, Cete (Greece)

Crete Girl & Sailor Sandra

Lady Corsica & Sandra (Shooter), Corsica (France)

David as The Camel - Haifa (Israel)

Belly Dancer (Sanela) & Camel (Me), Istanbul (Turkey)

Turkish Prince & Luci, Kusadasi (Turkey)

Sandra as Cleopatra, Kusadasi (Turkey)

Pizza Chef David - Naples, Italy

Flamenco Dancer, Palma de Mallorca (Spain)

Sandra - Flamenco Dancer, Palma de Mallorca (Spain)

Pizza Chef Stu, Naples (Italy)

Stuart - Knight, Rhodes (Greece)

Last but not least...

Ring - Fabio, Jeni & Zoran

Rail - Hernan, Italian Translator, David (Camel) & Sandra