Getting Competitive

Getting Competitive

11^th August 2011

These past few days have been a bit of a blur. I’ve not been out much as normal and sleeping in quite a lot. 

My schedule has changed a bit due to my sprained wrist which is on the mend but still a little sore and weak. Rather than getting up early and shooting gangway and then going out until the evening I’ve been sleeping in and starting work much earlier in the day. For example, rather than four hours of gangway until 11.00 and then going from 20.30 to midnight I’ve been working 16.00pm to midnight. 

One good thing is that I’ve finally caught up on my sleep and in a strange way it’s nice to have a break from taking hundreds to thousands of photos a day.

Getting up relatively late (11am) Sandra and I headed down to do the laundry. We were both working at 13.00 in the gallery. For once there wasn’t a single problem with the washing machines or dryers. Sometimes it can take four hours to do one laundry load, mainly because the washing machines stop draining and spinning. At 12.50 I grabbed my clothes from the dryer and legged it upstairs to the gallery. Just in time.

I had the longest afternoon stint finishing at 18.30. To be fair the day was steady and therefore passed relatively quickly. The worst thing is when you’re in the gallery for hours on end and the place is dead. The time drags and you fight to stay awake. 

Meeting Sandra after work we headed up to the staff mess. We only had an hour to eat before going back to the gallery for another stint. Paco called me over and said I’d be finishing at 11 instead of 12 because I was on morning sale the next day.

During the evening Zoran checked the sale stats and both of us had sold the most. It wasn’t long until it became a bit of a competition. We were pushing packages, retail… everything. I was a couple of hundred dollars behind Zoran so I had some catching up to do. 

Checking back a little while later Zoran was in the lead by 80 cents. I’d caught up and it wasn’t long until I’d passed him. We were neck and neck for a while, constantly leap frogging each other into the lead. A family soon came over with several photos for the folio deal which put me in the lead by about $200.

Taking a quick break from the gallery while it was quiet, I popped down to Back Deck for a drink. A couple of guys from Laundry were there having a few beers. Unfortunately I didn’t have long before I had to run back to work. I told the lads from Laundry I’d be finishing work in an hour so maybe, if they were still around I’d join them.

Getting back into the gallery and it was still quiet. Zoran and I were becoming more and more competitive. I’d taken a break so he was obviously in the lead, but not by much. I was quite surprised. People were trickling in and out the gallery and Zoran and I were racing to get the guest over to our till.

Come 23.00 I was due to leave. Even though I wanted to beat Zoran and sell more I also wanted some time away from the photographers, have a drink and relax. It’d been a while since I’d been at Back Deck for a drink after work. 

Charging back to the cabin I changed as quickly as possible and headed back up to Back Deck. I wasn’t sure if the lads from Laundry would still be there but I didn’t care. I just wanted to sit and unwind.

The guys from Laundry were all there and Clint (Culinary) came out to join us on one of his many breaks. I swear he spends more time on breaks than he does working. It wasn’t long until the beers were cracked open. We were just sitting around chatting and having a laugh. Some of the Spa girls popped over for a bit and it wasn’t long until the other Photogs were at Back Deck. Time flew by and before I knew it, it was 3am. I was due in the gallery at 06.45 for morning sale! 

Before retreating to my cabin I went with the laundry guys. One of them had some sort of a cream for my wrist which they all swore worked wonders. Putting some on, the stuff smelt disgusting but after a while it actually started to ease up a bit. I have no idea what it was though. 

Just before leaving, one of the lads, Edi, called me and said he had a present for me… a Stitch (Lilo and Stitch) teddy he’d bought from L.A. I wasn’t too sure what to say or do so with a quick thanks and goodnight I made a hasty retreat back to my cabin. Sandra was still out partying on Back Deck. 

It was now 03.30. Waking up in the morning was going to be one hell of a task… and one I wasn’t looking forward to.

Partying with The Frenchies

Partying with the Frenchies

2^nd August 2011

Overall the day was pretty slow and there’s very little to tell. Jumping out the shower and into my pyjamas I was ready for a good night’s sleep. Stepping outside the cabin into the corridor for a quick smoke, Hernan came out. He was dressed to the nines and looking smart. “Let’s go” he told me. 

There was a party on Deck 11 in the Solarium. It’s the end of cruise party and the French guests would be there. They’d left a message for us to go up and party with them. 

Quickly running into my cabin I changed into my new jumpsuit I’d bought in Barcelona. Slapping on some mascara and slipping on my sandals, I was ready to go in five minutes flat.

Heading upstairs with my Hermanastro, it wasn’t long until we found the French guests, or Frenchies as we’ve been calling them. Their names are almost impossible to pronounce. Dancing around with the French, there were quite a few other member of crew there. Most were the production team who were partying until the party closed, then work would begin. They had to dismantle everything. In the meantime, they could enjoy a few drinks and boogie.

Let's rewind quickly. One night, six young adults came out from the dining room. Quickly stopping them, I asked if I could get their photo. One, Arnaud, replied "No, I want my photo with you". I wasn't going to turn down him down, especially in his smart attire!! Handing the camera over to one of the other Frenchies, William, took a photo of us on my Titanic background.

As the cruise progessed we saw more and more of the French guests, the Frenchies. They'd come over, say hello, play around in our studios, letting us get some crazy shots. On numerous occassions they'd invited Hernan and I to come to Dragon's Lair for a drink etc. Unfortunately, we couldn't. 

Someone even spotted a couple of the Frenchies on Back Deck, during a crew party! Back Deck is exclusively for crew members and guests can be fined or even disembarked if spotted. The person who spotted them, at first tried to get them to leave before giving up and enjoying the party with them in tow. Obviously, I can't say who the certain person was!

Back to this evening, as it was formal night, Hernan and I arrived late and only stayed for about an hour and a half. The next morning we'd have to be in the gallery to display at 07.00

At 03.30 the lights went on. Hugging the Frenchies (the guys were soaking wet from jumping in the swimming pool fully clothed) Hernan and I headed back down to the cabins. We sat around speaking to David who had just finished work in the lab (printing the formal photos we’d be displaying in a few hours.) It was a great night but we’d pay for it tomorrow when they alarm goes off!! Having said that, you’ve gotta take the bad with the good! Tonight had been a fantastic ending to a long day!

Hernan, Myself and The Frenchies

Hernan, Lou & The Frenchies

And then Everyone Jumped in!

Jumping in the Swimming Pool Fully Clothed

Arnaud

Me & Arnaud

At LSP: Lou, Arnaud and William (William's Photo)

No Rules Arnaud (William's Photo)

The Girls on LSP (William's Photo)

Quinceañeras

Quinceañeras

28^th July 2011

Like all sea days there isn’t much to do if you’re crew, so I tend to take the chance to catch up typing my blog. Today was no exception. Waking up a couple of hours before work, yet still getting more than four hours sleep I came up to Back Deck armed with my laptop, i-pod and can of coke.

Business has been very slow during this cruise. In three days we’d taken approximately $2,000 which is nothing when normally we’d be taking in about ten times as much. Everyone had their fingers crossed that there’d be a surge of people coming into the gallery before disembarking tomorrow in Civitavecchia.

During my afternoon stint we weren’t busy at all and I, for one, was having my doubts as to whether we’d make any money at all. It was quite worrying when you thought about it. We are here to make as much money as possible during our six months on board. We are doing this one week cruise for seven weeks. Did that mean we’d be making next to nothing for an entire seven weeks? Originally we were told we’d make a heck of a lot more on one week cruises than the Holy Land eleven and thirteen day cruises. 

The real kick in the gonads was Italian tax. As all our ports are in the European Union we have to charge tax according to our home port and 20% is a huge amount to put on everything. It’s taking the price of 8”x10” photos up by nearly $4. The GTP has been increased in price from $299.95 to $349.95 plus tax which gives you a grand total of $419.95. Most of the guests think they can’t get their money’s worth so aren’t bothering. I’m all for squeezing every penny out of the guest’s pockets (hey, we all have to make a living) but for once, they have a point. It’s too much for too little.

We needed to get Fede a present. After 9.5 months, he was finally leaving, going home to Buenos Aires (Argentina) and we were all pleased for him. It’d be so sad seeing Fede go, especially for Sandra, he’s been here since the start of my contract and been a great help and friend. Having said that, he was dog tired and needed to go home for a break. If anyone deserved the vacation, it's Fede!!!

Sandra and I had previously tried to get Fede a present but had been chased out from the shop by the manager - a real prat, I might add. He’d fit in nicely at Swanley’s ASDA along with the other overly self-important managers. Previously, when we’d got to the front of the desk to pay a guest even tapped us on the shoulder and asked us to move a side so she could purchase something. How about "no"?

Later on Hernan, David and I went back up and found a jazzy watch Fede would love. We had to wait about 20 minutes for someone to come and get the watch out to have a look and pay. Every time the shoppie (crew members working in shops) finished with one guest, another would come in and we’d have to wait until they’d finished looking around the store or buying. You just have to stand around and wait. It's all part of the fun of being a crew member on board a Royal Caribbean ship!

During the evening, things in the gallery picked up. We had queues of people buying photos, some had stacks while others only had a couple. Although we were busy, they didn’t seem to be buying as much as guests on previous cruises. It felt like we were all trying to flog a dead horse! As midnight came around a huge group of Mexicans came in looking for the photos from their daughter’s Quinceañeras party.

In Latin America countries turning 15 is a huge deal, especially if you're female. For the rest of us it’s like your Sweet 16, 18^th and 21^st birthdays rolled into one! Reaching 15 for these girls was like reaching woman/adulthood, a sign of maturity. They go all out, saving up for years to pay for the numerous ball gowns and dresses, cruises and photos. 

There were about 6 girls from this group celebrating their 15^th birthdays and they’d rented out Dragon’s Lair for the party on the last night of the cruise. Hernan and Jomar had been shooting the event. Rather than closing the gallery at midnight, we had to keep it open for them. 

Each and every family bought the GTP (CD of just the Quinceañeras party photos) – and printed images plus extra copies. Other family members were buying huge stacks of images. They didn’t care about the cost… it’s a once in a life time moment and they wanted everything they could get their hands on to remember the day. 

Looking through some of the photos, I’d have passed all the girls off as celebrating their 18th birthdays! I wouldn’t have battered an eyelid if one or two of the girls had even told me they were 21. Remembering back, I looked like a little kid when I was 15 rather than a woman.

By the time we closed the gallery it was 2am and we were all shattered beyond belief. Why would you come in to the gallery to purchase everything on the last day of the cruise when the gallery is set to close? 

Luci, sitting in the BM's office, looking over the figures, told me that the Quinceañeras group had literally just saved out arses for the cruise! I didn’t deny that and usually I love the Quinceañeras lot as they take plenty of images and buy the lot. The down side is they always come at the last moment but today's group had taken the biscuit by turning up at closing time. 

Although we were thankful for the Quinceañeras for saving the day and our arses, when I pointed out the time to Luci, she couldn’t believe it. What she shouted is not fit to be posted on my blog!!

Half-Way Point!

Half-Way Point!

13^th April 2011

Here we are, still at sea and cruising to Haifa. This is our second sea day. 

The previous night was formal night which didn’t go to plan. Things were slow, we didn’t get as many photos as we needed so we’ll have to make up for the counts elsewhere. 

After the second Ressi Jomar told us there’d be no pizza as the crew members making it are still kicking up a fuss. Of course we kicked up a fuss as it meant most of us hadn’t eaten for round 15 hours. Jomar’s suggestion was that we were all to close our studios at 11.20, download our images and head straight up to Johnny Rockets where he’d be taking care of the bill. 

Later we found out it was Jomar's birthday as a treat he wanted to take the team to Johnny Rockets! Happy Belated Birthday to the Big Boss Man!!

Getting back to today, I’d been in the gallery for most of it, and managed to sell quite a few photo packages. I think it’s around five or six but I’m hoping to upgrade them all to a bigger package (more expensive) at a later date. The GTP where all photos are put onto a CD is causing everyone so much aggravation so I’ve given up pushing it. I’ll upgrade at a later date if there’s a cause for it. Until then, I’m pushing the smaller package which is straight forward and brings next to no hassle.

While in the gallery, Jomar and Luci told me I was switching the evening with Camila. There’d been a major change in the schedule. There was to be a crew table sale. We’d be selling alongside the shoppies. 

We originally had 20 cameras to sell but Luci sold one just before going down to the table sale.  I only had one model to sell and I had no idea which camera it was! Was I worried? Hell yes! Taking five minutes before the sale, I looked over the camera and had a play. I knew enough to push the camera and it was a freaking great compact too! 

With 19 units to sell at a discounted price, I was determined to flog the lot!! Playing around with the camera I was tempted to buy one for myself. The Olympus camera had a 12.5x zoom, numerous “magic” setting such as fish eye, pin hole, punk etc. It was an excellent camera and for $199.95, it was a bit of a steal. If there are any left after the sale…

Soon there was a huge buzz around my table and people were snapping the cameras up with memory cards and cases. They were flying off the table and Luci couldn’t bring down the receipts quick enough. It was mainly the Filipinos that were buying the cameras.

One guy made me laugh! He asked me what was good about the camera, so I told him. The guy then had the audacity to tell me “you’re only saying that because you’re selling the camera. Olympus is shit. Nikon is a good camera”. I told him that yes, although Nikon is a good BRAND of camera, Olympus is excellent and still one of the top selling brand. I also pointed out that the price was good and today would be the only day that crew would be able to buy cameras at a discounted price. He turned around to me, sneered and said “yeah yeah, whatever man. What would you know about cameras?” Erm… hello! Last time I checked I was the one with “PHOTOGRAPHER” on my name badge while yours says “CABIN ATTENDANT”. I had to laugh in the guy’s face… what a retarded comment to make!!

At the end of the night, things started to slow down and we had three cameras left to sell. I spotted a friend from Spa and called her over. She wanted the camera but only had cash. All transactions had to be made on Crew ID Cards. Sod it! Taking the money, I charged for the camera on my sea pass card. 

By the end of the night we only had one camera left, the display camera. The place was dead by 23.30 and Luci was tired and called it a night. So in the space of three and a half hours I’d managed to sell 18 cameras along with numerous memory cards and cases. It’s a shame I couldn’t get rid of the last one but it was still a job well done! 

Upstairs eight cameras had been sold which bought a total of just over $8,000 in. We’d succeeded our camera sales target and it was only day 3 of the cruise.

In the end I decided against buying the camera. As much as I wanted it, my parents bought me a Canon compact camera a year and a half ago for my 23^rd birthday. Plus when I go out, I use my Canon EOS 400D as well as my compact. Although my Canon compact might not be the latest model or have all the mod cons like the ones we are selling, it’s still a good camera and does its job. 

Looking back on it, I’m still 50/50 about buying the camera so it’s a good job I didn’t buy it. Plus, why buy a compact camera when you are saving up for a Canon 5D Mark II?

Towards the end of the night Ritesh informed us all that it was his birthday. He used my sea pass card to buy some after shave. Later on, we divided the amount up between the rest of the team and split the bill. We did the same for Jomar’s late birthday present.

Handing me some money, Ritesh insisted on buying drinks for everyone on back deck. His card was blocked so the money was going on my sea pass card. After paying for a camera, two bottles of aftershave and cigarettes I was $-408!!! Getting the money I was owed, I shoved it all onto my card to get out of the red. Fede brought his Canon 5D to back deck and we all had a laugh, taking photos, having a drink and celebrating Ritesh’s birthday.

Ritesh’s birthday wasn’t the only thing we were celebrating. On the 13^th April, Hernan and I joined the Mariner of the Seas in Rhodes. Today is our three month “anniversary”. We’d been working on the ship for three months. We’d finally reached our half way point and that in itself deserved a drink… any excuse hey!? The night rolled on into the small hours of the morning. 

Calling it a night at 3am, some of us had to be up early for tour and others would be on the gangway. It’d be our last visit to Israel so I intended to go trigger-happy on the guests while taking as many photos for myself and family as I possible could.

Whitney (Spa) and Sandra

Sandra, Fede and Whitney

Drinks at Back Deck - David and Sandra

Sandra, Camila, Whitney and Fabio

Luci & Sandra

The Girls - Sanela, Camila, Luci, Sandra and Lou

Back Deck: Sandra, Fede, Whitney and Fabio

Fede, Luci, Jomar, Fabio. Sandra, Camila and Myself

HAPPY BIRTHDAY STU!!

Happy Birthday Stu!!!

The title of the blog entry says it all but either way: HAPPY BIRTHDAY STU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I woke up this morning talking to myself! I’d been having the most random dream possible. I was on the ship, running after my brother. People kept stopping me to ask questions while I was desperately trying to tell them I had to go. Getting woken up by talking to yourself is strange enough but I was completely lost and confused… It took a couple of minutes to click where I was. The men in white jackets will soon be coming to take me away, locking the door and throw away the key!

Getting dressed and heading up to the gallery I had to meet Luci and Reuben to get some presents. My crew card is the only one working. Everyone else has had theirs blocked due to lack of funds. Mine, however, no matter how much in the red I am, has never been blocked. I saw Stu in the gallery but he was helping a guest so I didn’t want to interrupt to wish him a happy birthday. 

Heading upstairs Reuben pointed out a Puma jacket he wanted. Talking to Luci she didn’t think getting Stu the shield was a good idea.  Giving Stu a call she told him to get his backside up to the Royal Promenade. In the end he chose a pair of sunglasses. It seemed a bit of a cold, thoughtless present.

Luci also wanted to call Jeni up to the shop to get her something. We’d already decided to get Jeni a scrapbook and fill it with photos. Luci thought the idea was “a shit”, too heavy and big to take home. She also asked if I’d spoken to Jeni about what to get her and if she wanted the scrapbook. What ever happened to surprises? Anyway, getting bit irritated and just left it up to Luci, she can do what she wants with the presents… I was just there to pay for it all.

Back in the gallery I started my first stint. It’s formal night so it was going to be a long one. Plus tonight we’re doing a team photo for Jeni and Reuben. Rather than take it on LSP it was suggested we use Fede’s centrum studio.

Set up was a complete nightmare. We took so long to set up the studios, I think there were about 9 in total. Someone was supposed to sort out the studio signs and only did half so at the last minute a couple of us had to run around finishing up the job. 

Running down to the lab we gathered our camera equipment and pentabs before heading upstairs. 

The ice staking show was on while we were taking the bags through Studio B. Stu and I stood watching for about 30 minutes before I had to head back to the cabin and get changed into my tuxedo. What we saw of the ice show was absolutely amazing!! I’d love to see the show in full rather than snippets here and there. It’s like watching the trailer of the shows.

Once changed into my tux I was back in the gallery for an hour. At 17.00 we had the usual meeting before the studios opened. Overall the night went relatively fast.

Normally Stu is the last to finish shooting but tonight he was so tired he closed his studio almost on time. Breaking down as quickly as possible, we wanted to get our team photo before going out to celebrate. Just as we were putting the studio bags into the store room David looked up to Deck 4 and saw that Fede’s centrum studio had been broken down. Fabio had broken down the studio… we didn’t have a studio for the group shot. 

Rather than setting up to break down we simply grabbed one of the cameras, put Fede’s flash on and rested the camera onto of a bench from LSP. Getting a group shot was funny, we took quite a lot to say the least!! 

After we had an all girl’s photo, then the guys had their turn. Next we put Reuben in the middle and all the girls surrounding him. As it was Stu’s birthday, we did the same. To make the photo unique from Reuben’s, all the girls hid their bodies behind Stu, only revealing their face of upper part of the body. There wasn’t that much space and being the smallest I kneeled in between Stu’s legs. The photo was excellent!!

Spa were hosting a themed party out on Back Deck – Black, White, Short and Tight. Typical Spa! Luci and I didn’t have anything black and white. None of my clothes were short or particularly tight so I had to settle for jeans and a navy top.

Newman had arranged to get a cake for Stu saying “HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHREK”. We were all rushing around the find Stu. In the end we found him at the bar. We managed to get a confused Stuart to sit down. I covered his eyes so he couldn’t see Newman getting the cake out the bag and box. 

Unfortunately we didn’t have any candles which, obviously, was a bit of a shame. Either way, the chocolate cake looked fantastic! Stu’s face was a classic when he opened his eyes and everyone started singing happy birthday.

The rest of the night we just spent sitting around, having a few drinks and laughs, chatting etc. Stu by the end of the night was completely smashed and by the time he reached the cabin at 5am, had to be up and out on the gangway at 8am for another private tour. That should be a sight to see…

Top left to right: Sanela, Reuben, CJ
Bottom left to right: David, Regina, Lou (moi) and Stu

Happy Birthday Shrek!

Zoran & Raissa

Stu and his Dirty Martinis

Hernan & Eve

Typical Stu!

Celebrating Stu's 22nd Birthday

Zoran

Newman

Top left to right: Reuben (India), Newman (Brazil), Luciana (Brazil), Zoran (Croatia), Hernan (Argentina)
Middle left to right: Sanela (Serbia), Jeni (Chile), Sandra (Colombia), CJ (South Africa), Eve (New Zealand)
Bottom left to right: David (South Africa), Regina (Brazil), Stu (South Africa)

Independence Day

Independence Day

13^th June 2011

Today is Independence Day in the Philippines. The majority of the crew on board are from the Philippines and they’d organized a huge celebration on back deck with free drinks, food and music. The party started at 23.00. Only problem for us was, it was formal night!

Slipping out of bed at 8.30 I headed up to Pool Decks to start shooting. Not many people wanted their photo taken, especially the younger guests. Severe hangovers, no make up and flashing lights don't mix too well! Having said that, I was still stacking up the shots which was surprising. 

There are two girls who always dress up during the evening and make their way around the studios. The sisters, from America, always arrive at the studios in the most stunning outfits, anything from stunning dresses to ball gowns with tiaras to tuxedos. I feel sorry for whoever is paying the bill but they certainly look the part!! Stu and I had been trying to guess their ages. One in particular looked about 15 but I was dubious as to whether or not she was. She looks younger. I thought she was about 14. She spotted me, came over and gave me a cuddle. She’d lost her grandmother and had been looking for quite some time. What shocked me the most was that she was getting to such a state about it, at one point she was about to cry.  

Leaving my job I walked around the decks with her, trying to find her Nan. While walking around I was asking a mix of questions: some about her grandma to get a better idea as to where she had been and could be. The others were to try and calm her down a bit. Nan had to be around here somewhere!

I felt sorry for her but didn’t think it was the behaviour of a 14 year old. When I asked her how old she was, she obviously saw just how amazed I was… she was 12! At 12 my mother would never have let me out the house wearing a face full of makeup, false nails and skimpy, clingy clothes. I’m 24 and still get the “put some clothes on talk” if I’m wearing a low cut top! To be honest, when I was 12 I was still wearing Wellington boots, old jeans and polo shirts (like a farmer) running around the fields with my dog!! 

Just before the Walk for Wishes was about to start she spotted her Nan and ran over for a big cuddle. That brought out just how young she really was. She’s a lovely girl but just seems to be trying to grow up too quickly.

An hour after I started my shift Fabio came up to start shooting Walk for Wishes. Walk for Wishes is a mile long walk (5 laps around the pool deck). The crew sell Make A Wish t-shirts for $20 a go and they literally sell like hot cakes. The shirts fly off the shelves. 

The walk is led by Captain Flemming and other senior officers. The money raised the Make a Whish t-shirts goes to charity, Make a Wish, which supports terminally ill children. So many people took part that there wasn’t a break in between the front and back of the pack. It was a continuous ring of white shirts… a great chance for us to get shots.

Regina was working on the pool decks and got dragged in to do the walk, just as my shift was ending too. I had a couple of minutes left so I joined her for two laps before heading down to the staff mess.

After a quick break and we were all on for set up. Once again I was shooting what was originally Luci’s studio Centrum 3. I think my favourite is probably Centrum 1 out of all the studios. We finished set up at 15.15.

At 17.00h we were all in our tuxedos and sitting in the office for a meeting. Ritesh gave us a talking to about getting double shots. Fabio apparently had 112 double shots out of 380 odd. I had 23 out of 78. One thing that got me was that if there’s a group of people you are supposed to get more than one shot. You’re also supposed to reshoot if you think one of the people in the frame blinked. So now I’m not sure what the hell to make of it all.  Do I just take one photo of a group and let them get reprints? That’s of course if someone from the group doesn’t buy it first. I was also told Luci used to get about 300 shots on her Centrum. I didn’t even make it to 200 and I needed to do better. I love the whole name and shame approach they take on the ship. You can really get humiliated in front of your work mates if they fancy took them... which is does and often too!

In the studio I did my best to get as many photos as I possibly could. I didn’t get 300 photos, I did get over 200 though.  In Ressi I didn’t do the best either. I was concentrating more on getting group/table shots. Most of the people I asked for couple shots didn’t want one but were more than happy to get a group picture.

Popping into the lab afterwards I had to speak to Ritesh about my images. Everything was wrong with my Ressi shots. At one point he even said “the first photo is over exposes but the next aren’t”. I had to explain that I took the image at 1/60 (the shutter speed we use in ressi) but there was too much light coming through the window so I upped the shutter speed to 1/200 (as we are told to if there is too much light). He just stared at me blankly, confused. 

Next my cropping was bad. I’d left too much space on the side for group shots, exposing too much table. What else was I supposed to do? I didn’t want to crop in too closely and cut peoples arms off. As for exposing the table… it’s a bit hard when you’re trying to get 10 people into a horizontal shot.

We finally finished at 01.00. I was completely shattered to say the least. A group of the photogs headed to back deck for the Philippines’ Independencne Day party. While popping in and out of cabins, talking to people, Stu called me in to check a photo he was editing in Photoshop.

Laying in bed, reading and relaxing, Luci was woken up by the music coming from one of the photographer's cabins. Never wake Luci up, she turns into a pitbull! Annoyed beyond belief, Luci told me she was going to call security.

Book in hand, I stuck my head into the cabin with the music playing to give them a heads up that Luci would be calling security if they didn't turn the voulme down. The last thing anyone wants is to get their collars felt by security. On top of that, this sort of thing breaks the team up, causes bad feelings. Living and working in such proximities it hard enough without ill feelings.

Going back into Stu’s cabin I asked if I could come in for a bit and read my book until Luci had either calmed down or gone to sleep. Stu was still editing his photos. I was reading and trying stay awake. I failed miserably and fell asleep. Stu woke me up and couple of times but it didn't take long for me to drop back off again and finally let me to sleep. 

Stu headed off to back deck to enjoy what was left of the Independence Day party and woke me up when he got back to the cabin. He was about to leave me sleeping in his bed and sleep on the floor! Grabbing my stuff, knowing Luci would be asleep, I sneaked back into my cabin and climbed into bed. Work was only 6 hours away and I desperately needed some shut eye.

Differences are a Bitch

Differences are a Bitch!

10^th June 2011

Another formal night has reared its ugly head. At first I was set to shoot Titanic but that was changed to Luci’s usual studio on Centrum 3. Apparently it’s a hard studio to shoot so obviously I was a bit anxious.

In the morning I was on display with Luci which went relatively well. I sold a camera, the last one we have in stock. Since I’ve been working on Mariner of the Seas we have never had a delivery of cameras. Now we just look stupid telling people we don't have any cameras left in stock but hopefully we'll get a delivery the next cruise! It’s no help to the guests or our commissions. Chances of getting more stock next cruise is slim to none too.

I was left to set up the Centrum 3 studio by myself. I’d never done it before. In the past I’d watched how Lee and Luci set up so I had a rough idea how to do it but it was getting the details right.

Set up was done within an hour and 15 minutes. Jeni, David, Hernan and I ran up to the Staff Mess for cereals before formal night began. Fede joined us a little later. Sitting up in the mess with the guys, stuffing our faces with endless boxes of cereals turned out to be a great laugh! Hernan had made up this story about Fede being the lab bitch (which of course he is) and that he had previously met Ritesh on a ship called Princess of the Seas during a gay cruise. It was so unbelievably ludicrous that you had to laugh. Soon the main objective was to not spray each other with milk or choke! Hernan nearly just that, at his own joke – now that’s karma for you!

Formal night went okay, there were a few hiccups here and there. One problem I had with my studio was getting people to walk around me rather than into the cable that connected my camera to the pentab. I even put the “Caution” sign over the cable hoping people would walk around me in the opposite direction. Did it work? Did it hell! 

On one occasion I literally had to grab a guy by the shirt sleeve and pull him back. He literally walked straight into the cable, pulling it along with him. Strangest thing was, he had no idea he was tugging along a cable while he walked. Needless to say, he didn’t look too impressed when I grabbed him. It was either that or the cord pulled tight and he tripped over! The cable gave my camera strap around my neck a good tug too. I can live with that! If the strap hadn’t been around my neck the camera would have flown out of my hands, crashing to the ground. I’d be left settling the bill too. Luckily I’d tightened the pentab clamp tight enough so that it wasn’t affected by the tug. In short I was a lucky bugger.

Going down to the lab afterward, Fede wasn’t too pleased with some of my exposures. On a couple of occasions, when shooting by the window I hadn’t upped my shutter speed from 1/60 to 1/200. Therefore the image to the guys in the lab is burnt, but in this case, fixable.

Tonight was Hernan’s fake birthday. When joining the ship we had to write our date of birth on our medical forms. Hernan’s is the 6^th October which to us is written as 6/10/11 – day, month, year. As the ship runs on an American basis they put the month first: month, day, year. So his birthday is now the 10^th June… and a happy birthday message was even announced in the crew area. 

To celebrate we all headed up to back deck for a few drinks after work. Stu started back on his Smirnoff Ice “strawpeados” or “Stupeados”. He bought two rounds of Stupeados for us. By burning a small hole in the straw and sticking the tip of it back down, you create a suction pump. Holding the straw in place and your mouth over the (bottle) top, tilt the bottle, even just a little and the contents rushes out. Stu being a freaking giant can usually Stupeado a bottle of Smirnoff Ice in 2-4 gulps. Everyone else takes around 10!! 

After a couple more drinks we called it a night. It was 3.30am and some of the photog team had to be up at 7am for gangway in Istanbul.

Popping into Stu’s to say goodnight we got talking about a few things. One thing has always been apparent with me and Stu, we get on really well and have quite a few similarities but at the same time, we are very different!

We both like similar music – excluding Stu’s love for Glee and films but personality wise, it’s like chalk and cheese. He finds my sense of humour sometimes insulting even though I obviously don’t mean it to be. If I’m sarcastic I don’t mean to rude or offensive… but that’s the way he tends to take it. One thing I’ve learnt… don’t give sarcasm to South Africans, unless your intentions are to offend, in which case, fire away! Getting back to the point, a chat turned into a heated discussion which turned out into an argument.

I won’t go into details about the argument but it wasn’t single sided. The booze had got the better of me and I said a few things which shouldn’t have come out. It’s not an excuse though. Being tired and ratty added fuel to the fire and tempers were flying. It wasn’t a slanging match but I was having severe troubles keeping my tongue clenched in between my teeth. No sarcasm. Stu, by the looks of it was having the same problem, only minus the sarcasm. In the end we were both pissed off with a few things and Stu called it a day. Pissed off and feeling rough I retreated to my cabin.

Although I guess I owe Stu an apology I’m reluctant to give one. Mainly because it’s not going to change anything that was said (on anyone's part). He needs to understand not everyone is like him. Not everyone is going to see things from his point of view or agree with what he says, does or finds acceptable or unacceptable.

I guess in the end, you win some, you lose some.

Diseased

Diseased

6^th June 2011

Tonight is formal night and I’ve woken up feeling as rough as a dog’s backside! My neck and shoulders are aching along with the rest of my joints. My head is pounding, throat sore and I’ve got an almighty cough forming.

I didn’t have work until 13.00 and the clocks had gone forward. As the day continued I felt worse and worse. While working in the gallery, I popped into the office and Reuben asked if I wanted a medical form to see the doctor. Refusing, I carried on working. I really didn’t want to be signed off work again. Returning back to the office a bit later Reuben handed me the form and ordered me to see the doctor.

Heading down to the medical facility the doctor asked me what was up. I love how you go to the medical facility but you're never told what’s wrong with you! I was given a small bag stuffed with yellow pills, two sachets of night medicine to help me sleep and a handful of asprin. The doctor wanted to sign me off from work but I refused. I needed to work as it was formal night. Formal nights are busy and hard enough as it is without being down a person.

In the meeting Reuben asked why I wasn’t signed off. I told him why. He told me to take it easy and try not to use what was left of my voice. First off we were in the studios, mine for the first two session was Titanic and finally moving on to Fede’s Centrum. 

During the first seating of Ressi I was incredibly slow and couldn’t speed myself up. Feeling as rough as ever, I took the advice of the other photographers and went to speak to Reuben. Telling him I felt like hell he sent me back to my cabin to rest. 

Popping over to Stu’s LSP studio I grabbed his cabin key to get his external hard drive so I could watch a film. Jumping into bed, it wasn’t long before I dropped off to sleep. Hernan later popped in to see if I was okay before heading back up to his studio. 

Housekeeping soon came in to my cabin to clean so I had to move into Stu’s. Again I fell asleep and didn’t wake until the others had finished work at 01.00. Luci dropped a schedule and some sandwiches into Stu’s for me. A few people popped in to see how I was. Lifting my face off the pillow, it felt like I’d been given a royal beating!! Zoran couldn’t believe the size of my face! One side of my face had ballooned and my eye would hardly open!!

During the night I woke up several times, my face still swollen. I had to be up at 06.20 to get ready for gangway… Greek Goddess with a swollen face. How the hell that was going to turn out is anyone’s guess. 

Hopefully the meds would work and I’d feel better by then. If not, the guests will be having their photo taken with Quasimodo’s sister!

Super Heroes and Villains Crew Party

Super Heroes and Villains

26th May 2011

Photos from Mariner of the Seas - Super Heroes and Villains Crew Party.

Mustafa, Hernan, Lou-Lou and Lauren

Pirate and Super Girl

Super Girl and Cat Woman

Crew Party - El Zorro, Super Girl, Cat Woman and Pink Tinker Bell

Crocodile Dundee!

Photogs: Fede, Zoran, David and Ritesh

Zoran, Me, Fede, Hernan, Ritesh and David

From Above

Me and Jorge

Super Girls!

Drunken Pirate Hernan

Pirate David

Super Girls and Clark Kent...

To Super Girls and Super Man!

Aches & Pains

Aches and Pains

21^st May 2011

Okay, I’m finally up to date with my blog entries. Go me!

Today didn’t start off too well. It wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t good either. Our schedule was changed at the last minute. Our clocks went back an hour as we are heading back to Italy. Paco our AMS said that instead of starting work in the gallery at 08.30 we were going to start at 07.30. Our dreams of an extra hour in bed were soon dashed.  

Hernan rang my cabin at 7.15 telling me to get my arse of out bed. We had to be in the lab at 7.15 to pick up the prints. He was heading down to get started. Me and Luci were to meet him there. Normally it’s me waking Hernan up! 

My back and shoulders were in agony today. Each day it’s getting worse. Normally it’s my lower back that gives me the odd batch of trouble but today it was in between my shoulder blades and up towards my neck. There’s also a pain in my shoulders. I don’t think my shoulder has properly recovered from what I’d previously done in the studio.

Anyway, in the gallery we started displaying the colossal amount of prints and taking it in turns to go for breakfast. Stu wasn’t in the best of moods this morning and snapped at me for having a laugh and joke. Apolgising, Stu commented that today, because of last night, he wasn't in the best of moods. Apparently things aren’t getting better. 

On the upside I managed to sell a couple of portfolios and a frame. Selling the GTPs is pretty much for nothing. I earn nothing, zilch, nada on it. Only photog2s and 3s earn from it.

I was working in the gallery from 07.30 to 13.00. When I got back to the cabin Luci was asleep and straight away I woke her up. She’s getting fed up of me always waking her up. I can’t help it though, I’m trying to be as quiet as a mouse and I still wake her up. In the end I grabbed my laptop and headed up to Back Deck for a couple of hours until she started work. 

Sitting on back deck is great some times. It’s got huge open panels so it’s like a half-way feel to it. You're covered, but there's so much open space, sea breeze, you feel like you're outside. I can sit there with a can of coca-cola, my music and laptop typing for hours. I love it, it’s my new place to go when I want some down time.

After Stu finished work I popped over to his cabin to pick some of my stuff up. I’m hopping cabins at the moment as Luci is still ill. I really don’t want whatever she’s got. So yesterday I spent my free time at Stu’s and also got ready for formal night there. I spoke to him for a bit and although he’s not in the best of moods, I now know why. 

We took our V.I.C. Cards (gold award cards) that Reuben gave us for selling the most amount of frames (1 each) to the Crew Office. Stu had one from the previous BM too. We both for $10 free at Johnny Rocket and Stu got a $5 calling card. Free food – and Johnny Rockets have the best Oreo ice cream. It’s the best place to go if you want to become seriously, morbidly obese with the less amount of work/energy.

Jeni has asked me if I want to move into her cabin with her. She did share with Natasha. Originally  Luci was talking about moving in to Jeni’s where it’s quieter as the photographer’s corridor can get pretty loud during the evening. I’m not too sure what to say. I love living in the photographer’s corridor (Jeni, Stu and Paco’s cabins are situated in another part of the ship) but I think I need to move out because, as I said, Luci’s getting ratty with me constantly waking her up, getting in late etc. Suggestions are welcome to say the least.

For the entire evening I was working in the gallery. Although it’s not bad there wasn’t much to do except wait for the mad rush to come. In the mean time we had a muck around and a laugh. In between that I was sorting out the photos, filling in the gaps and making as much space as possible. I was doing pretty well until another flood of people came into the gallery from the studio. 

Luci and I had a one hour stint in the studio for the last session. She managed to get 40 images while I could only take 27. Mind you, I did have a good natter with a Welsh couple when my deck was completely deserted.

A small group of us (me, Stu, Jeni, Newman, David and Fede) were planning on going to Johnny Rockets after work for dinner. Our dinner break was scheduled for when the Staff Mess was closed. 

Just before we were going to leave at 23.30 Reuben told us that there was a small meeting in the lab. We all ran down to the lab hoping to get the meeting over and done with before Johnny Rockets closed. Constantly checking our watches our hopes of food were  dashed. Five minutes to midnight… would Johnny Rockets stay open? We rang to check if they were still open, fingers crossed people were still in Johnny Rockets eating. No chance. They were closed.

Jeni came over to Hernan’s cabin later carrying a large opaque bag. Jeni and I were on a mission for food. We headed up to raid the crew and staff mess of any food they may have had. Quickly popping into the slob chest we got some bits and bobs. The sandwiches weren’t out yet. Every night the crew mess have sandwiches at about 1-2am. This food actually comes from the guest café. What doesn’t get eaten is the brought down to the staff area and we can help ourselves. As you can see, we really are at the bottom of the food chain. Getting some cereals from the staff mess we headed back down to crew mess for bread. The rolls were out! Jeni went rushing over for sandwiches and I was hot on her heels to be honest…. Until we got there and saw they were all salmon!! Dried bread and cereals for dinner. What a meal!!

Do You Speak English?

Do you speak English?

20^th May 2011

It’s the night I love to hate… formal night! The only good thing about the night is that it does tend to go quickly – if all goes well.

Tonight I wasn’t supposed to be shooting in the dining room. We are trying to keep a studio open for the last minute arrivers who want their portrait taken just as we are going into Ressi. Luci was signed off sick and I’ve been feeling rough all day. I think I’m starting to catch whatever she has. I was to take Luci’s place in the dining room and shoot her section.

My first two stints in the studio were shooting the Titanic backdrop which went pretty well. Again, I wasn’t exactly the fastest but the quality of my work is getting much stronger. At the moment I’d prefer quality over quantity. When the quality is up to standards I’ll concentrate more on getting my shoots up to speed.

Even though they are effectively my bread and butter, a handful of Americans are starting to get on my nerves. Some are a great laugh and I enjoy speaking to them but last night took the biscuit. A group of Americans were standing behind me, watching and talking to me in between shoots, fine. Not a problem. There were a few couples who apparently couldn’t understand my accent or phrases. For example, I asked one couple to stand side by side and link arms. So the stood in front of each other and muddled their arms up into some weird entanglement that didn’t look human. More Mr. Tickle spaghetti arms that anything else. The American guy I’d been speaking to came forward when he saw I was getting frustrated and said “Guy, look” and he held out his arm for me and we linked arms. Two seconds and the couple I was photographing were in position. The lady, however, was amazed “oooh, you mean link arms. I’m sorry, I didn’t understand.” What do you say to that? Clean your ears out love? They blamed it on my English accent – I’m talking “properly” and formally. I’m sure they hear my accent and decide they don’t understand. It’s either that, or they don’t listen. I even do actions but they still don’t get the idea. I don’t know what to do, I’m going to have to talk to Stuart for some help.

Later on I had another American couple who really upset me. More than I ever thought possible. I was posing them, speaking loudly and clearly as well as doing the actions. The man looked totally bewildered and disgusted! It was like I was asking him to put his wife into some sordid erotic position that's illegal in most countries!! He looked at me and loudly, over pronouncing every word “I’m sorry but I just don’t understand you”. He then looked at his wife and asked “Does she speak English?” then up at me again and asked, somewhat frustrated yet amazed, the same question. Do I speak English? That was it! Gritting my teeth, I walked over to the guy and and plastered a massive smile on my face and overly cheerful told him “Of course I speak English and on top of that my English comes from the Mother Land - England”. Not only did he understand perfectly but his face dropped like a tonne of bricks!! Picture perfect. Now that was a real Kodak Moment! It’s no wonder he wasn’t smiling in any of the photos. 

I didn’t necessarily mean to be rude or more to the point sarcastic but I was rapidly losing my temper over people who were just refusing to listen or being ignorant. Last night it was like they were pushing and pushing until I got to my limit. I have no problem understanding the Americans, Scottish, Irish, Australians and people who speak English as a second language and they don’t have a problem understanding me. It’s just the Americans. Why?

There are three lovely Australian girls on the cruise. While Stu and I were breaking down LSP one of the girls came over to speak to Stu. She said “I don’t know if you have a girlfriend but could I give you my email address please?” She told me before that she really liked him and asked if he’d go to Dragon’s Lair (the ship's night club) with her on the last night of the cruise to party. I was hiding my face, getting on with breaking down and trying not to let out a giggle. The poor guy didn’t have the heart to say anything along the lines of girlfriends and simply muttered “yeah, sure” and took her email address. Once she’d walked away, Stu came over and told me what happened, I was in fits of giggles ribbing him “Awww Stu, you’ve got an Aussie fan.” “Wow, you’d better keep in touch with your Aussie girlfriend – email daily so you don’t let her down”. Watching him go all embarrassed mixed with utter confusion only made me laugh more. Jeni joined us; we told her what had happened and she joined me making jokes. If Stu was the type the blush, he’d have been as red as a lobster with sunburn!!!

Later when all work was done I retold the "Do You Speak English?" story to everyone including my BM. Every single one of the team burst out laughing. Reuben went bright red in the face. I never thought it was possible to see an Indian go red - it only made me crease up more. 

Stu had to give his opinion on the matter and said even he finds it hard to understand me sometimes especially when I speak “my English” which is when I don’t speak “properly”. If I speak to an English member of the crew from Kent/London and go ten to the dozen, he doesn’t understand. That again, annoyed the hell out me. There were my chances of asking for his help out the window. A few things were said and I gave up speaking properly and reverted to “my English” and what did I get back? Afrikaans from Stu and David. Before losing my temper I walked out the office. 

Not long after, Stu called me back because my pentab had been left in the office. Hernan had been the last to use it and hadn’t bothered packing away my equipment. My temper was reaching boiling point. Stu took my case off me and opened it to pack everything away "properly". He saw the radio slave still attached to the camera and told me not to do it. Another Stu lecture. Again, I pointed out I hadn’t been the last to use it. Turns out the antenna was bent and could have been completely put out of use. This made me fly into one. My temper had reached boiling point! Rather than say anything in English I said all I had to say in Spanish, they didn’t understand but they knew I wasn’t a happy bunny. Reuben told me not to worry as I wasn’t the last person to use the equipment (we are responsible for our own equipment but have to let other people use it if they are shooting in our studio – go figure!)

Later on Stu knocked on my cabin. Now it was his turn to be pissed off. He’s made a bit of a cock up that could cost him his job but a few things had been said about his shooting. Stu is by far the best at thinking outside the box. Or, as he puts it “thinking outside the box that the box is in”. He’s the best shooter on LSP and comes up with the best poses featuring a number of different props including people perching on upside down chairs – sounds strange but the results are great! 

The mangers reckon he’s getting slack and maybe the compliments he gets are just them being nice. What the hell?! His cock up was trying to help a crew member and get some money in for Image, for our team. The lad had a huge amount of images to print but had forgotten his crew card. Stu just punched the lad’s name into the computer but got the surname wrong so he refunded the money. According to Stuart, he was going to wait until the next time when the lad came to pick up his photos with his crew card and then charge him. Rueben had spotted it on the system and pulled Stu up about it. Even though Stu came clean and apologise Reuben wasn’t happy. 

There was a joke made to Stu about him losing his job which obviously didn’t go down to well. Stu always takes his job seriously and does the best he possible can. For someone to say that to him, it was far from a joke. There was no way Stu would have seen the funny side of it all. Stu hung about speaking to me for a bit but he was really down which isn’t like him at all. It worried me a bit. Soon Stu was out the cabin and searching for the crewmember to get his Crew ID. I was to call Stu the next morning for the Crew ID code and make the charge. At least that way it’d get done straight away, first thing in the morning. Until then, I hope Stu doesn’t let it get him down too much. I know it will though.