Cruise Ship Medical Papers
Gathering all my paper work together to return to ships,
I stupidly thought I had another six months on my medical papers. Turns out, I
only have four months left. Nowadays you have to return to the ship with a
medical for the entire contract. You can’t renew your medical half way through
your contract like before and the paperwork is only valid for two years. So, I’ve
now got to renew my medical papers before I can return to ships. Is someone
trying to tell me something?
What’s a cruise ship medical? Basically it’s a huge list and
group of tests. First round is always the quick fire “yes or no” round where
you’re asked about 60 questions like:
Do you wear glasses/contact lenses?
Have you ever had surgery?
Do you take any medication?
The only question they don’t ask, is what size underwear you
wear!
You’ll also have a quick eye and colour blindness test.
Next are the blood tests. Usually the doctor will take about
four vials of blood. The tests: complete bloody analysis (sugars, cholesterol,
white and red blood cell levels etc.), sexually transmitted diseases (remember,
cruise ships are knocking shops at sea!), drugs tests and finally a HIV test.
Round 3 consists of your reactions and getting your knee cap
hit with a medical hammer, much to the doctor’s amusement! Also, one or two
chest X-rays to confirm that you don’t have TB (tuberculosis).
If you’re female, you can expect a pregnancy test too. Don’t
forget, you’ll also be signing an agreement stating you won’t get pregnant
while working on cruise ships. If you do, you’ll be fired quicker than you can
say “Wham Bam, Thank You Ma’am”!
That’s not the only thing girls will have to do. The check
list also requires you to have a mandatory pap test. In my humble opinion, a
trip to the gynaecologist for a job or to return to work is slightly degrading!
This in many countries would be illegal or straddling between legal and
illegal. Having said that, some doctors will just tick the pap test off, giving
you the all clear, without you having to spread your legs! My first doctor did.
Unfortunately, not all will!
Once that is done and you’ve handed over your money (usually
around 3-500 US dollars), you’re ready to return or join cruise ships as a crew
member/staff.
Prices obviously vary between countries and medical
facilities. A friend of mine, Lee, had his medical papers renewed in Miami at
the song of $300. Myself and many others used a recommended private doctor in
England and paid approximately $480 (300GBP). According to Zoran, a previously
team mate, it costs around €150 in Serbia.
Being in Uruguay, I didn’t think I’d have too much problems
in renewing my cruise ship medical at a good price. How wrong can you get?
Going to my parent’s hospital, Mautone in Maldonado, I spoke
to the head receptionist. I know
Magdalena very well due to my Mum’s extensive stays, treatments, tests/result
collecting at the hospital. She’s the one to talk to! After about thirty
minutes of waiting and Magdalena making a series of calls and running around
for answers, I got a final price. Because I wasn’t a member hospital, I’d have
to stump up a fee. Not a problem, I was expecting it. Jumping through a few
hoops, Magdalena managed to get the price down for me: I was Uruguayan, lived
in the country and area and my parents are “VIP” members. The final price,
$750! That’s without the pap test!
Driving around, we stopped off a couple more medical
facilities for prices. Unfortunately, no one could do the whole shebang. I’d
have to go to numerous different clinics and labs for testing. Just to see a
doctor to fill out two pieces of papers (Quick fire “yes or no” round) would
cost between $60-80. No one had the slightest idea how much the blood and other
tests would cost. They did, however, let me know that it’d be “very expensive”. There's also no telling when you'll get the results back.
My other Uruguayan friends and Hernan from Argentina all had
their medicals done for free because they are members of hospitals/health clinics.
Back at home and speaking to my parents, it’s an extensive,
time consuming process just to become members of Mautone hospital. Also, I’d
have to have the majority of the tests done (you don’t get the results though)
to become members.
Flights to the States are also on the rise, thanks to South
America going into summer/high season and the monopoly the aviation companies
flying from this part of the world have. Unlike Europe, there’s no competition
between rival companies. A one-way ticket to Miami is $1,300 plus.
At the moment, I feel like I’m going around in circles and not
getting anywhere. If I paid $750 for the medical plus a flight to the States (if
I’m sent there) I’m looking at $2,050 minimum before I even start work and
earning. Depending on the ship I’m sent to, that’s between 1.5-2 month’s work
to get out of the red.
More than ever, I really wish I was back in Europe. It may
be up Shit Creek without a paddle, but it certainly does have a large amount of
advantages!
I’ve been dealt a pretty shitty hand and not quite sure
which card to play next. The big, multi-million Dollar question is: What do I
do? Is it financially possible for me to go back to working on cruise ships? I
wonder how most people in my position pay for it all. Keeping in mind I’ve just
had surgery for a work related “injury”, it is really worth going back to cruise
ships on both financial and health levels? Or will I just be burning a great
hole in my pocket, especially if more surgery could be on the cards and messing
up my wrist some more?
